i am the reason why my parents are arguing?

[danni]

I wanted to go to this b-day party and when i asked my dad to take me he couldn't so then he told me to wait until my mom got home. when she got home and drove past the house i was too late and i think it was over so she just took me to go buy her a gift. so now my mom is mad at my dad for not taking me. and she is mad because she knows that i really wanted to go by the look on my face. now they are mad at each other and i feel guilty because it is ALL MY FAULT.

 

[nikkithebadest]

Its not your fault.. That's your parents

 

[carpefreakendiem]

This situation sucks!! I've been in it for years. My dad is an abusive alcoholic and guess what!? he's a lieutenant in the State Police, so not many options. My parents divorce lasted 5 years, my mom slept on the couch, my dad took the bedroom and, oh yeah, got himself a fiancee that he brought to the house my mother was still living in about 2 years into the divorce. My parents now live in seperate houses, unfortunately no more then a ten minute drive from one another. I ask my boyfriend all the time, "What did I do to deserve to be in this situation?" and all the same questions you're asking here and I'm sure the same kind of questions you think about. I'll tell you what he tells me, It's not you're fault they fight. If you and your boyfriend were to fight in front of one of your parents because he forgot to pick something up from the store, is that your parent's fault? I realize it seems illogical and may not make too much sense, but it isn't your fault. Divorced parents will find every reason in the world to argue and unfortunately they usually don't realize that telling you, their child, full details of that days fight or why they hate the other, tends to make it hard on us, or me at least, to really feel tons of compassion towards them. I've been in this situation for years and I'll be honest, there's still plenty of nights I sit and cry on the phone with my boyfriend asking him why things are like this, is it my fault, why is it so unfair and every other why question there is. Truth is, there is no reason for any of it and there's certainly no answers for those questions, but it doesn't keep me from asking. My advice, use this situation to build yourself as a strong independent person. It's easier to handle when you can be confident in yourself as a person. Hate to say it, but it still doesn't erase all the pain.

 

[MrsRed]

You have nothing to do with the fight. Your mom is mad at him for his actions, or in her opinion, lack of.

 

[BillC]

You remember that game we all used to play as kids called 'monkey in the middle'? Well, that's the name of this game and it sucks right? Your Dad started this, let your Mom finish it.

 

[t]

Your parents are arguing about this situation, but I can guarantee you their reactions are extreme for a one-time tiff. No, they are arguing about a lot of other things that cause them very big stress and this was just an opportunity to further express their frustration with each other caused by those other things.

You didn't cause this. You can't fix it. They have other problems that they need to work out. You could tell them that missing the party is not making you nearly as sad as seeing them upset with each other. Just love them both. They are human too.

 

[marciaf]

This is not your fault. They are not mad at each other because of you. They are mad at each other because each wants to blame the other because you missed the party. Just forget about it. It will all blow over in a day or two. Guilt is a waste of time. You can always find something to feel guilty about but what good is it going to do? Don't go through life feeling guilty every time something goes wrong.

 

[Bonnie]

Hello,
This is not your fault.
Obviously there is more going on, and it has nothing to do with you going to this party - but it is totally between your parents.
Stop worrying about it and just let your parents work through what ever it is they need to work on.
Take care & good luck

 

[maccaasmrs]

your parents have the issues not you its not your fault