addicted to chewing tobacco,depression, help/advice?

[dissatisfied]

I'm just looking for some guidance or help with my depression, which I try to cope with by chewing tobacco. I have emotional problems that cause me to be anti social, and I have trouble dealing with past events in my life that caused a lot of pain for me. The anti social part worries me the most, as it stems from a loss of confidence and a lack of motivation I guess. You could say I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm 15 but I also have a lot of problems dealing with racial prejudice and being singled out for my skin color, which was something unfamiliar to me before certain well known events occurred in America not too long ago. I find myself constantly looking down on everything and feeling like I've already lived my whole life and that there's nothing left for me. To tie back to my lack of confidence, it comes from being rejected by this one girl that I really like and it seems like she's a warm light in a dark and cold box for me. I always feel like when I'm around her that I have my whole life to give her and that I'll be safe, but she rejected me because I'm not a stacked and handsome jock like the boys she usually dates. I've considered professional help from my school's guidance counselor but would be too embarrassed to be seen in his office or talking to him, I'm labelled as a violent and "emo" person at my school but never did anything to deserve those names, so I feel like that option would only worsen the harassment I endure daily at school. It's summer vacation now and I was hoping somebody had some ideas about how to get a fresh start and no longer be an outcast.