Asthmatic children and smoking indoors, should it be ok?

[kyranirvanna]

I'm sorry, I know EVERYONE talks about this on here. But I'm seriously hurt and need to know if this is normal or if I'm over-exaggerating...

I'm 19 years old and have had asthma since I was a kid. My mother and step-father both smoke around me and their other children constantly, one of my siblings just developed asthma (I think it's because of the smoke, but my mom thinks I'm stupid), and another is a 1yr old baby. Every time I bring up the smoking thing, my mother thinks I'm being offensive to her because she "shouldn't have to sit in the back porch and smoke" and should be "allowed to smoke in HER living room". We have a screened in back porch, and when we moved here, the purpose was so she could have a place to have tea in the morning and smoke. Neither of which she does. She sits in the living room playing online video games and smoking. My younger siblings play and watch TV in here, so they can't escape the smoke. It's not fair to jeopardize their health like that, not in my opinion.

As I said, every time I ask my mother to or calmly discuss the option of not smoking in the house, she gets offended. Which usually causes me to break down a bit because it makes me feel like my health, and my siblings health, isn't important to her. I love my mom, but my lungs ache daily now, and I'm scared for my little brothers and sisters. I wish she could see things from my perspective, but shes stubborn as an ox. Our landlords (ironically, her parents) don't even want her smoking in the house because its bad for their grand-kids and their house.

Am I wrong in feeling hurt? How can I open her eyes? She always brings up that I should be respectful, even though I try to be when I bring this up. Its like she feels guilty, so tries to avoid the subject entirely...PLEASE HELP!

 

[Swamp_Ratt]

You're not wrong at all. You're absolutely right! Second hand smoke is horrible for anyones lungs, whether they have asthma or not. She is being completely selfish about the smoking. Even 3rd hand smoke (the residue on clothing and skin) is bad for everyone. That's one reason I don't like smokers hold or touch my baby. I really don't know what else you could do. Maybe your next doctor appointment ask her to tag along and have the doctor explain to her the risks.

 

[AnnieT]

you are never going to win with someone so ignorant.
personally i think there should be some kind of law about smoking around children.
i am a smoker, i have a 4 year old and i smoke outside - occasionally in the frontroom after he's gone to bed (with windows open) but never around my son or in confined spaces and i also make sure his clothes/bedding is put away so the smell (toxins) are not attached to him even when i'm not smoking.
how parents get away with making their children ill is beyond me.
you are right to be angry and hurt and even if your asthma is a genetic - smoking definitely does not help it and i would do as much research on smoking as possible, leave it in a file on her table - if you thinks she feels any guilt at all she will eventually read it and it may open her eyes as to at least move smoking into the kitchen or porch so its not entirely in your young children's faces.
or depending on how harsh you want to get - advise your siblings doctor to what happens at home - bet she doesn't admit to smoking heavily in the household to them.