I am a very negative and pessimistic person as a whole. Since I was a young child I have been always complaining about everything. Of course, my parents love me and were beating me (not so violently) a lot. Maybe that is the reason why I am not spoilt these days. However, I am 16 years old now and I love them but I make them unhappy. Now my mum told me (my family is always around me, especially my mum) that she cannot stand me anymore. That for years I have poured my whole negative energy on her and make her life sore (she says that she will always be with me but it's very hard and exhausting for her). I know that I have done it and I feel guilty. But I cannot change the past (I am sometimes afraid that I have destroyed her nerve system, health) but I am also afraid that I cannot change myself (it is extremely difficult for the people around me but for me is also difficult being always unhappy).
I just do not know what to do? Should I just stop complaining and keep everything in me?
I just do not know what to do? Should I just stop complaining and keep everything in me?