Could I make it as an author judging on this first paragraph from my manuscript?

Mar 8, 2011
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Nicolas Pawthorne could feel the fear steadily rising in his tiny chest. His heart pounded erratically against his fragile ribcage, beating about fifty times a second, until he was certain it would leap out. Limbs trembling uncontrollably and eyes wide with fright, this journey had to be the most unbearable and longest in his short life.

Soon, he would be forced to enter through the doors of hell.

“It won’t be long now until we’re settling into our new home sweet home”, sighed Alan Pawthorne from the driving seat.


The words sent a chill down Nicolas' spine. He could never classify that place as “home”. Never. Not after what his eyes had been unfortunate enough to witness. Not after he’d discovered the secrets which lay deeply hidden behind the walls of the old victorian mansion.
 
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