My wife is cold, but my kids are young. Should I have an affair or get divorced?

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I've been married 10 years, and have 3 kids. My wife is not interested in intimacy. She says "I'm not in the mood. This atmosphere is wrong. Let's go on vacation, and my libido will improve."We've got little kids. The kids she so desperately wanted.We've been to two marraige counselors who both tell her "You need to be intimiate with your husband."I'm thinking of leaving. But i'm worried about the impact on the little kids. I really want them to have a stable upbringing.I really feel my wife married me to be a mother. Once she achieved that goal, she lost interest in me.(I'm 6'0, 180, never been unemployed, have friends, smart, and not a loser).
 
GET A DIVORCE. (i dont believe in getting a divorce but most people do).How would you like your children to know that their dad cheated on their mom? If she finds out she certainly will tell them when they are older. If you really need to get a divorce then its best to do it now because the kids are young and it wont affect them because they dont know whats going on. Your job would be explaining it to them when they are older.
 
so loose interest in her looser ... GET A LIFE ...but don't forget your kids ....
 
just f*** the bitc*..give her some aphrodisiacs or viagra n all..turn her on
 
You shouldn't have an affair. You should try and engage her more, and tell her how you feel. If she wants to go on a vacation, maybe take her one? Ask her while she feels like she doesn't want to be intimate? Make an honest try before you head for divorce. You said you've been to marriage counselors, and that shows that you care and are willing to try. Talk to her about what turns her on, and maybe you can help her get into the mood. Good luck and best wishes!
 
Have you tried listening to her? maybe you should go on vacation or whatever else she says that will help. chances are she knows how she feels better than you do. i know it may be hard to get away with the kids and all, but do whatever you can before you give up. i hate to see a marriage end over something like that, if you get along well, there's no reason to give up yet. but if you tried everything she said and everything you can think of then i don't know what esle to tell ya
 
An affair would certainly hurt your wife and your kids, not to mention a negative impact on your life. If you are dissatisfied with your marriage, see if your wife would be willing to seek marriage counseling with you. For your marriage to work, both of you may need to work hard at it... I wish you all the best...Peace...
 
Don't stay together for the kids.Talk to her about the relationship (without arguing, if possible) discuss how to improve, your concerns, why you feel the way you do, and maybe discuss breaking up and how to deal with that together. You need to be 'adult' about the break-up in order to make sure the children are not badly affected by it.
 
Don't cheat because you know that is just wrong. Maybe she really secretly wants a vacation and not having sex with you is her way to get you to do it. I know that I need time away from my kids and the whole mother thing. Young children can be very stressful. Why don't the two of you go somewhere to be alone for a few days. Good luck!
 
well that sucks....I'd say if you are not happy in the relationship then leave, you can't stay just for the kids....thats not really fair to them, or to you...
 
"Divorce" is not the solution for your problem.try to talk to your wife, maybe she is bothered or troubled with something...or maybe she is seeing another man. you don't need a marriage counsellor (you and your wife knows) what's best for your relationship and not anyone...
 
First, get someone to take the kids off your hands for a week-end or a week and take your wife on that vacation and see if you can improve her libido. Looking after children is very stressful and after all that work that goes with that, no one, not even a man would want to be 'intimate'.If the holiday doesn't go well, you need to tell your wife how you feel, if that doesn't get through, have another talk and mention separation, see if that gets her attention.
 
i don't think that if you were secure in yourself that you would find it necessary to post your physical features. having kids is draining on parents, mostly mothers. it's up to you to find ways to help her out so that at the end of the day she has a reason for the intimacy
 
Wow- at first I started to read this and thought you were writing a poem. You married her for "better or for worse" she said "let's go on vacation" did you try that?A stable upbringing for your children - may be that you two go your seperate ways...ever think of that? you stated you are "smart" and not a "loser"...this is serious question, and I think you should do some soul searching for both you and her and those little ones you are worried about. Good Luck!
 
LISTEN TO HER! She said lets go on vacation, so get a babysitter and go on vacation. See if things can help. Do NOT take your children with you. Find somewhere romantic to go to also-tropical always deems worthy. Dont have an affair,,thats only going to add to your confusion and problems-leaving you with a scorn bitter woman if she found out...and believe me,,she'll find out. Once again--LISTEN TO HER! Being a mom is hard work..it really is, maybe you need to show her you still love her....bring her little gifts from time to time....I really think that you guys should go on vacation and try to recreate whatever it was that brought you both together in the first place.
 
Where were you when I married a man in love with him self to the point of preferring his own hand & porn to me, crying my self to sleep next to him in bed for 20 yrs without so much as a peck on the cheek? As soon as I bore him a child, she became his Love & i was reduced to a pain in the butt.
 

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