Hi this is a long story but I dont know what to do, my husband was adopted when he was younger and his real dad got in touch when he was 16, since he got in touch he still hasnt been much of a dad etc and has my husband making all the effort all the time, me and my husband got married last year, his real dad never came to the wedding because my hubby wouldnt change his name back to his real name before he was adopted and said that when we have kids he wont feel right as there grandad as they dont have his name. I was shocked at this but we just said ok,
We are currently expecting out first baby, we got in touch like always with his dad and told them and went up with the scan pictures and everything but they dont even seem bothered, me and my mum have see them in town loads of times and they dont even ask about there grandchild, its like they couldnt careless, I thought that when it came round to it they would be different but clearly not.
My son will have enough extended family as it is because his mum and his adopted dad divorced she is with a someone else and so is he, so he had got 2 nanas and 3 grandads, he would have 4 if we choose to have his real dad as a grandparent, but im thinking to myself I dont want my son to go thorught with what my husband went though, being wanted and then not wanted, its not fair on him, hes told us basically he doesnt want to know our child as we dont have the same name.
So should we just break off all contact with them and just leave them be as we hardly see them and when we got up to see them, all they do is watch the telly,and never speak to us, its just feels uncomfortable, they treat my hubby just as someone they know in the street not like his son.
Obviously when my baby is old enought I will tell him the truth that he has another grandad that didnt want to know him, but when we I see his dad with his wife in the town I say hello, and now he has been like this I dont want
to even speak to him, its farthers day soon and my hubby despite his dad not even being in touch much goes all out to get him something he really wants asking his dads wife what he wants etc, but this year I dont think he is going to bother as its a wasted jounrney not to get spoken to, also his dads birthday is a week after fathers day and he will expect presents etc, but I dont think my hubby will go thorught all that just to be dissapointed and let down all the time.
I was just wondering if his wife text us to remind us about his dads birthday, shoud we tell them to leave us be in the future as we dont want to complicate things with out child, as we have little contact anyways.
As somthing else has gone on as well with my hubbys family memebers as well as his real dads family member but thats too long to go into but we are stuck in the middle so in the long run its better for us to have no contact.as they only snoop about other relatives anyways
Sorry it is so long, but would like some answers on what to do,
Loads of family memeber have told my hubby he has his dad and his real dad has never been there and isnt now even after all these years, so its best just to forget them.
Hi to my second answer, sorry it came across that way, I forgot to add, that if in the furture he tries to get in contact with our child like he did with my hubby I wont deny the fact that he didnt want anything to do with him as im telling the truth, Im not going to let my son get hurt the way my hubby has, I wont put it quite like that but if he trys to get in touch when he didnt want to I will be like this.
Im going to be honest with my son and I dont see the problem in telling him he didnt want to know our child as its the truth and then my son hopefully wont want to know him, as his dad will want to know for a week and then not at all after that. I will tell him you dont need anymore grandads as you have the ones who love you the most here.
We are currently expecting out first baby, we got in touch like always with his dad and told them and went up with the scan pictures and everything but they dont even seem bothered, me and my mum have see them in town loads of times and they dont even ask about there grandchild, its like they couldnt careless, I thought that when it came round to it they would be different but clearly not.
My son will have enough extended family as it is because his mum and his adopted dad divorced she is with a someone else and so is he, so he had got 2 nanas and 3 grandads, he would have 4 if we choose to have his real dad as a grandparent, but im thinking to myself I dont want my son to go thorught with what my husband went though, being wanted and then not wanted, its not fair on him, hes told us basically he doesnt want to know our child as we dont have the same name.
So should we just break off all contact with them and just leave them be as we hardly see them and when we got up to see them, all they do is watch the telly,and never speak to us, its just feels uncomfortable, they treat my hubby just as someone they know in the street not like his son.
Obviously when my baby is old enought I will tell him the truth that he has another grandad that didnt want to know him, but when we I see his dad with his wife in the town I say hello, and now he has been like this I dont want
to even speak to him, its farthers day soon and my hubby despite his dad not even being in touch much goes all out to get him something he really wants asking his dads wife what he wants etc, but this year I dont think he is going to bother as its a wasted jounrney not to get spoken to, also his dads birthday is a week after fathers day and he will expect presents etc, but I dont think my hubby will go thorught all that just to be dissapointed and let down all the time.
I was just wondering if his wife text us to remind us about his dads birthday, shoud we tell them to leave us be in the future as we dont want to complicate things with out child, as we have little contact anyways.
As somthing else has gone on as well with my hubbys family memebers as well as his real dads family member but thats too long to go into but we are stuck in the middle so in the long run its better for us to have no contact.as they only snoop about other relatives anyways
Sorry it is so long, but would like some answers on what to do,
Loads of family memeber have told my hubby he has his dad and his real dad has never been there and isnt now even after all these years, so its best just to forget them.
Hi to my second answer, sorry it came across that way, I forgot to add, that if in the furture he tries to get in contact with our child like he did with my hubby I wont deny the fact that he didnt want anything to do with him as im telling the truth, Im not going to let my son get hurt the way my hubby has, I wont put it quite like that but if he trys to get in touch when he didnt want to I will be like this.
Im going to be honest with my son and I dont see the problem in telling him he didnt want to know our child as its the truth and then my son hopefully wont want to know him, as his dad will want to know for a week and then not at all after that. I will tell him you dont need anymore grandads as you have the ones who love you the most here.