what are some good jokes?

An American visiting London opined that it was the arsehole of the world. He was just passing through.
 
Why did the chicken cross the park?
a- To get to the other..SLIDE!

Did you here about the man who got his Left arm and Left leg chopped off?
a- Thats Ok, Hes alright now! (All Right now)

Why did the people invite the mushroom to the party?
a- Because hes a Fungi! (Fun-guy!)

Sorry all I know, or can remember.
 
It isn't rude once you've read the answer
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one
Michael j fox has a small one
Madonna doesn't have one
the pope has one but he never uses it
Bill Clinton Has one and he uses it all the time!
What is it?...

Answer:
A Surname

A skeleton goes into a bar and asks for a pint of lager and a mop!

BTW you can't TRY to be a class clown, people are just born like that.
 
What would you be if you were attached to an inclined plane wrapped around a cylinder? Screwed!
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Southern Ocean? Nothing. They just waved.
What did the science book say to the math book? Boy, do you have problems!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Allison! Allison who? Allison to you if you listen to me.
Why did the turkey cross the road? He wasn't a chicken.
Two atoms are walking. One trips and falls. He gets up and says, "Oh, no! I think I've lost an electron." The other atom asks, "Are you sure?" He replies, "I'm positive."
A neutron walks into a restaurant and asks, "How much for a mango lemonade?" The server replies, "For you, no charge."
What do you call a cheese that isn't yours. Nacho cheese. Get it? 'Cause it's not your cheese, but I said nacho.
 
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