DarkSoulFly
New member
- Feb 4, 2013
- 0
- 0
- 0
Tell me what you think of the following here has been my life for the past 3 years.
I am 33 years old, live in America. lost my job from being sick, lost my house, had to move back in with my parents, I am now bed ridden. suffering from chronic prostatitis pelvic pain syndrome symptoms of low back pain, pelvic pain, testicle pain, burns to urinate, foamy urine, erectile dysfunction, burning ejaculation, stabbing ejaculatory pain, anal pain(hurts to sit) rectum burns, inside of rectum very pain full. on and off fever and chills, muscle weakness in legs, calves, arms, neck, biceps, wore out, getting harder to walk as the disease progresses. unfortunately for me the disease I have you keep getting sicker and sicker, no infection is located and you just keep getting worse over time, though my white blood count is through the roof indicating my body is fighting something, the doctors say they don't know what since urine, prostate fluid is free on infection. I've tried to get an IV or shots but doctors have told me that to get an IV or shots that bacteria has to be identified, and that it is illegal to have a shot or IV unless bacteria have been cultured and identified, so I'm stuck with pills only that never work. I'm not sure if an IV or shot would do any good, but I'm tired of taking oral antibiotics that never amount to nothing, even if a pill manages to work once it is stopped symptoms return in 4 to 5 days. I've taken probably 10 different oral antibiotics, have no pain medication because no doctor will prescribe me any pain medication, but they hand out antibiotic pills to me like candy.
beyond that life sucks even more, my dog of 11 years died of cancer, my 6 month old cousin died in the hospital when a nurse accident tripped and knocked over the childs morphine machine, giant dosages of morphine shot into the child and she was pronounced brain dead, it was heart wrenching for my family. my other dog she is 10 yrs old, now has cataracts and one eye has turned into glaucoma it makes me very sad and I don't have the $2,000 needed per eye for the dog to get surgery, she will end up blind in her right eye son and eventually blind in the left one. All I can do is lay in my bed frustrated and angry. I feel utterly helpless in all of this. I have been thinking of suicide a lot lately. Part of me almost smiles at the thought of ending it all, a thought of freedom away from pain,suffering, etc.
What the hell do I do ? I see no other option than loading the ole 12 gage shotgun and ending it.
I am 33 years old, live in America. lost my job from being sick, lost my house, had to move back in with my parents, I am now bed ridden. suffering from chronic prostatitis pelvic pain syndrome symptoms of low back pain, pelvic pain, testicle pain, burns to urinate, foamy urine, erectile dysfunction, burning ejaculation, stabbing ejaculatory pain, anal pain(hurts to sit) rectum burns, inside of rectum very pain full. on and off fever and chills, muscle weakness in legs, calves, arms, neck, biceps, wore out, getting harder to walk as the disease progresses. unfortunately for me the disease I have you keep getting sicker and sicker, no infection is located and you just keep getting worse over time, though my white blood count is through the roof indicating my body is fighting something, the doctors say they don't know what since urine, prostate fluid is free on infection. I've tried to get an IV or shots but doctors have told me that to get an IV or shots that bacteria has to be identified, and that it is illegal to have a shot or IV unless bacteria have been cultured and identified, so I'm stuck with pills only that never work. I'm not sure if an IV or shot would do any good, but I'm tired of taking oral antibiotics that never amount to nothing, even if a pill manages to work once it is stopped symptoms return in 4 to 5 days. I've taken probably 10 different oral antibiotics, have no pain medication because no doctor will prescribe me any pain medication, but they hand out antibiotic pills to me like candy.
beyond that life sucks even more, my dog of 11 years died of cancer, my 6 month old cousin died in the hospital when a nurse accident tripped and knocked over the childs morphine machine, giant dosages of morphine shot into the child and she was pronounced brain dead, it was heart wrenching for my family. my other dog she is 10 yrs old, now has cataracts and one eye has turned into glaucoma it makes me very sad and I don't have the $2,000 needed per eye for the dog to get surgery, she will end up blind in her right eye son and eventually blind in the left one. All I can do is lay in my bed frustrated and angry. I feel utterly helpless in all of this. I have been thinking of suicide a lot lately. Part of me almost smiles at the thought of ending it all, a thought of freedom away from pain,suffering, etc.
What the hell do I do ? I see no other option than loading the ole 12 gage shotgun and ending it.