My roommates might be dating each other, but won't admit it or discuss it?

Alli

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May 18, 2008
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About 4 months ago I moved in with two friends of mine. They had decided to be roommates, and insisted that I move in with them too. In fact, they both spent a lot of time convincing me, and I decided why not enjoy cheaper rent and the company of two friends?

After moving in, I realized I am much less of a homebody than them (I do activities after work, and I work full time). I make a point of keeping up on housework, but they still say that the problem is just that I'm not there often. This seemed to cause a bit of tension, so I started to find ways to include them and to make time for them (I try to cook together with them once a week, and make sure we spend some time together watching movies or playing board games etc).

However, when I would make time for them they sort of freeze me out a bit. I assumed earlier that they had just grown closer because they spend so much time together.

Although they talk about how I am "never home" as though it is a problem, they seem to really enjoy their time alone together (they cuddle a lot, but pretty much run away from each other if I enter the room, I've recently taken to making warning noises like coughing before entering a room).

I do think they are good for each other and should date, but they won't admit to anything. Although I would normally say it is none of my business, I am feeling like it is having an effect on our relationships with each other, and potentially could change my living situation (if they want to date, it might be better for me not to be the third wheel!).

Should I keep trying to discuss this with them (I think I'll try talking to them each seperatley)? I am not so much interested in the details (those things are private), but I want to know if they are serious about one another, and perhaps have a heads up if I need to move.

Do you think I should let them know that I can see why they might be interested in being together (do you think they are hiding it because they are not sure if I will react positively)?

As an aside, any idea why they say that they want me around more, but then get awkward when I am around? Perhaps they are in denial?? Or is there some other reason?
 
Sounds like this was a business decision on their part. You're just 1/3 rent and 1/3 utilities to them. I wouldn't even be concerned if they are together. As long as the financial situation works out for you then I would just mind my own business. They don't mess with me and I won't mess with them sort of thing.
 
I say leave them be. If they want to let you really know whats going on, they'll make that decision. But don't stop with the warning sounds. You don't want to walk in on anything
 
agreed with siete, however if you are pushed around like that, when everything is always a problem, ie. freezing out, then personally i think i'd move out. obviously have somewhere else set up, but if you don't get along with each other, then i don't see why you should bother.
 
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