doesn't approve of my wife? My father is an old school racist and doesn't approve of my wife who is from Kenya (I know, I know, Obama, he never lets that go) and a Muslim (I know, I know, Obama again) and I thought it would funny to play an April Fools joke on him to pay him back for all the trouble he has caused my family. He didn't come to our wedding or to our sons first birthday but instead sent a gift of a stuffed animal monkey (which was not even age appropriate and a note that read, "For the white half of your son" and I won't even repeat what he wrote about the other half. This is my idea for a joke.
We are going over to his house on Sunday and I was thinking that I would make an announcement over dinner that went something like this: " I know this might not be the best time to say this, but as they say, anytime is the best time when it's important. I love my wife, I love you honey, I really do, and it makes me really sad to have to say this. After a lot of careful thought about my origins and who I am as a person, I have recently realized that I have been living a lie. While I love you sweetheart, I think it's finally time to tell you that deep down, I am a racist and I think that dark skinned people are inferior to me, in every way, outside of course, the physical arts and sometimes music. It hurts me to say this, but I think it's now time for me to divorce you and abandon my parental rights to our son, who I love, but will never be able to respect. Dad, you really helped me make this decision with your constant commentary and while I at first found it rude, inconsiderate and moronic, I know see the error of my ways. Now that being said, everyone should continue to enjoy dinner and think about how wonderful the coffee is going to be when it's served to us just like Dad likes his women, sweet and white. April Fools!!!!!!!!"
Now that I think about it, I think I might not tell my wife that I am going to do this. Two birds with one stone, as they say. What do you guys think?
We are going over to his house on Sunday and I was thinking that I would make an announcement over dinner that went something like this: " I know this might not be the best time to say this, but as they say, anytime is the best time when it's important. I love my wife, I love you honey, I really do, and it makes me really sad to have to say this. After a lot of careful thought about my origins and who I am as a person, I have recently realized that I have been living a lie. While I love you sweetheart, I think it's finally time to tell you that deep down, I am a racist and I think that dark skinned people are inferior to me, in every way, outside of course, the physical arts and sometimes music. It hurts me to say this, but I think it's now time for me to divorce you and abandon my parental rights to our son, who I love, but will never be able to respect. Dad, you really helped me make this decision with your constant commentary and while I at first found it rude, inconsiderate and moronic, I know see the error of my ways. Now that being said, everyone should continue to enjoy dinner and think about how wonderful the coffee is going to be when it's served to us just like Dad likes his women, sweet and white. April Fools!!!!!!!!"
Now that I think about it, I think I might not tell my wife that I am going to do this. Two birds with one stone, as they say. What do you guys think?