How do I deal with my boyfriend's relationships with his ex-girlfriends?

[CharlieFox]

My boyfriend stays very close with at least three of his ex-girlfriends. We met over a year ago and got close through email, etc while he was out of the country. During that time, he had a girlfriend that he told me was basically on the outs with but never actually got the chance to formally break it off. When he returned about five months ago, he broke up with her for me. Before that time, he was, at least physically, pretty honorable, although it was certainly emotional infidelity to some extent. Now, she has started contacting him again. He talks to her frequently, has met up with her for lunch twice recently. He always tells me about it. Doesn't hide it. She sends him gifts. She does not know about me and he won't let me come to events where their mutual friends will be. He says this is because she has mental health problems and he fears for her safety if she finds out.

His most significant ex he is even more close with. He stays at her house about half of the week. She lives two hours away but is the mother of a two year old child he is helping to raise. This part is complicated, but if you know the back story seems understandable. He loves the child and is the only father figure he has. It is not his child, but they owned a home together where she lived when the child was born. When he stays there, he rarely answers calls from me, often falls asleep early with the little boy. I have not met the little guy, although I have seen countless pictures. He is also very close with her. They are good friends. They talk every day. About the child he says, but that's not totally true. He is a huge support for her, and I believe she is for him as well. When I am with him and he speaks to her on the phone, I have to be quiet. He says this is because she would freak out about me being in the house and then he would have to deal with her and fight with her. They have been broken up for three years.
The third ex is his first love. She lives 3000 miles away but they text daily and chat. They talk on the phone about once a week. Email each other, send pictures. He will show me the messages when I ask, but mostly is very protective of his phone. Even takes it in the bathroom with him when he showers. I only really found out their relationship was so close because I happened upon some emails where she was very inappropriate, calling him her long distance lover, etc. She continues to be inappropriate, saying how she misses him and how great they would be together. He claims he has let her know that she is being inappropriate and he is with me. But it seems that he still feeds into it. He tells me they have maintained the long distance friendship for years. But one of her texts said that they had only begun heavy contact a few months ago. He claims that their level of contact goes up and down through the years. He refused to do facebook. He says he will give her up for me, but I wouldn't ask him to do that. He knows it gets to me, but hasn't seemed to cut down on the contact.
Is this normal? There seem to be explanations for everything, and he at least presents as being very open and forthcoming with this information. He will let me read his text messages as long as he is doing it with me. Still, I can't seem to shake the feeling that I am being deceived. The strange thing is that he is really into me. If he were really running all these schemes, why would he be so awesome with me? I can't wrap my head around it. I want so badly to trust him. If he is being totally honest and honorable, how do I shake this feeling? What can help? Maybe speaking to the ex's myself?

 

[AdamStryker]

Its problems like this that make relationships turn sour, thats why i dont kiss and tell to anyone i date or start seeing. My advice is to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. If he loves and respects you enough he will drop all contact with them, i had this same thing happen to me i really dont see why you would want to keep talking to an ex? Delete them off any IM apps, Facebook delete any pics numbers ETC. There is nothing
honorable about what he is doing, sounds like to me he wants his cake and is going to eat it as well. If he dose not want to drop all contact with them regardless what he says DUMP HIM faster than a ton of bricks.

DO NOT talk to the exes that will make you look like an idiot and they will laugh and snicker about it. Show yourself some respect and stand up to the problem.

My boyfriend stays very close with at least three of his ex-girlfriends. We met over a year ago and got close through email, etc while he was out of the country. During that time, he had a girlfriend that he told me was basically on the outs with but never actually got the chance to formally break it off. When he returned about five months ago, he broke up with her for me. Before that time, he was, at least physically, pretty honorable, although it was certainly emotional infidelity to some extent. Now, she has started contacting him again. He talks to her frequently, has met up with her for lunch twice recently. He always tells me about it. Doesn't hide it. She sends him gifts. She does not know about me and he won't let me come to events where their mutual friends will be. He says this is because she has mental health problems and he fears for her safety if she finds out.

His most significant ex he is even more close with. He stays at her house about half of the week. She lives two hours away but is the mother of a two year old child he is helping to raise. This part is complicated, but if you know the back story seems understandable. He loves the child and is the only father figure he has. It is not his child, but they owned a home together where she lived when the child was born. When he stays there, he rarely answers calls from me, often falls asleep early with the little boy. I have not met the little guy, although I have seen countless pictures. He is also very close with her. They are good friends. They talk every day. About the child he says, but that's not totally true. He is a huge support for her, and I believe she is for him as well. When I am with him and he speaks to her on the phone, I have to be quiet. He says this is because she would freak out about me being in the house and then he would have to deal with her and fight with her. They have been broken up for three years.
The third ex is his first love. She lives 3000 miles away but they text daily and chat. They talk on the phone about once a week. Email each other, send pictures. He will show me the messages when I ask, but mostly is very protective of his phone. Even takes it in the bathroom with him when he showers. I only really found out their relationship was so close because I happened upon some emails where she was very inappropriate, calling him her long distance lover, etc. She continues to be inappropriate, saying how she misses him and how great they would be together. He claims he has let her know that she is being inappropriate and he is with me. But it seems that he still feeds into it. He tells me they have maintained the long distance friendship for years. But one of her texts said that they had only begun heavy contact a few months ago. He claims that their level of contact goes up and down through the years. He refused to do facebook. He says he will give her up for me, but I wouldn't ask him to do that. He knows it gets to me, but hasn't seemed to cut down on the contact.
Is this normal? There seem to be explanations for everything, and he at least presents as being very open and forthcoming with this information. He will let me read his text messages as long as he is doing it with me. Still, I can't seem to shake the feeling that I am being deceived. The strange thing is that he is really into me. If he were really running all these schemes, why would he be so awesome with me? I can't wrap my head around it. I want so badly to trust him. If he is being totally honest and honorable, how do I shake this feeling? What can help? Maybe speaking to the ex's myself?