HELP with my Descriptive Essay Writing?

Gigi

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Jun 3, 2008
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I finally found something to describe, but I am terrible with writing.... So I put this together. I just have one major question. HOW AM I DOING? Lol Let me know please thank you! ....

Prologue
When I was 11 years old, and still loved to play games. My favorite one to play was hide and seek. I was homeschooled then, and usually stayed at home. We had just moved into a new neighborhood, and the only playmate I knew I had was my older brother. One day, it occurred to me that I hadn’t found my secret hiding place in our new home. As good hider, I believe that you always need a unique hiding spot before you begin a game. It can’t always be under the bed, in the closet, or in the cupboard since those are obvious places. However, this isn’t an instructional on “how-to find a good hiding spot.” This is how a hiding place turned into a place of comfort, and has given me many fond memories as I matured in my teen years. This is my story.

My Story
One afternoon, I lied on my bed staring at the bright colored atmosphere outside my window. It reminded me of a watercolor painting. A continuous flow of strokes, all sorts of shades of the color light blue. The clouds looked so fun to play with, like inflated balloons as they floated by. My chances of catching one were very slim. They flew higher and higher as the winds took them farther away. The birds fluttered in and out of the trees and bushes very frolicsome. They enjoyed the warmth of the sun while chirping joyfully. Nature was beckoning me into a playful mood, how could I ever resist? I swung my legs off the bed and sat up straight. I began to search the floor to find my shoes, but when the sudden thought came to my head, “Do I really need ‘em?” I ran out of my bedroom barefoot. Raced through the hallway, and skipped down the stairs. Passing through the first floor of the house, it was empty with no one home. The house was quiet, and the heavy curtains kept it at a dim setting. You only heard cars zipping past on the one way street in the front of our home, or our dog barking within the fence at something mysterious passing in the back alley. This century year old home had wood flooring that creaked for almost each step I took. Heading towards the back door, I twisted the door knob and tugged it open. The luminous warm sunlight harshly hit my face. My eyes both squinted, trying to adjust to the brightness. I stood on the deck taking in my surroundings. The heat radiated from the wooden deck floor unto my feet, in between my toes. I inspired my lungs to take in a long refreshing whiff of the breeze that brushed my face, which smelt rich and earthy. Across the yard I sighted my dog running towards me. His excited brown eyes illuminated under the sun, panting excitedly while gripping his yellow toy ball with his teeth. I reached from under his cheek, snatching the toy I ran down the deck and into the yard. After he eventually caught up with me, I turned around and swung the toy ball across the lawn.
Playing “catch” with my dog wasn’t as nearly as fun as playing hide and seek- my thoughts began to speak. Not like I used to do with my friends back in my old neighborhood. Although, if I were to find some friends one day. I should prepare a good hiding spot, right? In a train of thought-I began to envision which part of the house I could hide. I continued to entertain my dog, who hadn’t seemed tired after the last fourteen throws. By the fifteenth throw I became exhausted. I swung the ball over my head one last time, and tossed with all energy I had left. Watching the ball swiftly soar through the air, my focus then observed the roof of my house. I then wondered if it would be difficult to climb up there.....

Whadayah think? terrible? >,< I know!
 
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