British/English Humor - the list

[LisaV]

The actor, Robert Web, is from Lincolnshire, so I doubt it to be honest, although the Lincolnshire accent is a little less... urban... than some others.

I did try to find you a Devon accent and the vastly superior Bristol/Somerset accent on youtube, but all the ones I could find were crap!

EDIT: I take it back. Here's the standard Devon accent (although the strength varies wildly, so don't believe someone wholly if they say people in Devon don't talk like farmers, some definitely do!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsXOLOKpkl8&feature=related

This is quite a funny vid of some proper Brizzle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzfzANnvprE&feature=related
That's gert lush, thaat is, innit?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esQzapgZAmA&feature=related

Also look up Justin Lee Collins for a Bristol accent, and of course the fantastic Wurzels for a deeper west country accent

 

[dehaitest]

An American being Scotish.

Move your Head, It's like Sputnik - YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=-e1dYIWu2ME&feature=fvwp

 

[rosern37]

@ Llama - those are brilliant clips. I can just barely get through them.... my gf is completely lost and couldn't figure it for English even. hahahahahahahahahaha... I'm truly amazed at how different the English can be just a short bit away. Excellent. I'm quite amazed one county understands the next let alone one end of the country to the other.

What do ya reckon is the most looked down upon accent in all of England?

 

[goodiEtt]

That would completely depend on where you're from yourself! For example I can't stand most Yorkshire accents (I was brought up there after being born in Bristol, for a bit of context!), but apparently it's been voted the most trustworthy!

But if I had to guess what the general population would say, probably brummie/black country (sorry Bassai!) or Essex?

 

[braindamaged]

Scouse?

 

[MSAD]

So that I'm clear on this... the one young lass says... 'Gert Lush' means rather sumptuous... so the fella doin' the Lego thing in his blue hard hat is wearin' a tshirt that says in essence 'rather sumptuous'... AHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[lil_mija95]

well, 'gert' means 'big' or 'really' and 'lush' means in its basic sense 'good'

So gert lush would mean really good. As does proper job in the rest of Somerset/Devon

'ello there moi loverr! That zoider's gert lush, innit?!

 

[lululemon_aritzia]

Ahhh oddly enough for some reason this one gets plenty of stick in the pubs here... with people being pointed out as they come in the door as... 'there goes that Scouse bastard'... usually by my mates from London. Not sure why that is but funny all the same.

 

[Malty21]

Scouse is certainly down there. And Manc. Brummie certainly can make someone sound a bit...erm...thick (sorry Bassai too!)?
Personally I have a real problem with any accent that drops the word "the".
As in "kick him in't leg" rather than "kick him in the leg".
Both my wife and I are from down south were people don't do that but as we now live in Yorkshire (where they do) have to really come to terms with the fact that our children will probably do it.

 

[RaeRae]

I drop my t's something rotten. I don't even notice any more. In fact, I grew up where you now live - do you get many really harsh nasal accents near you? They're the ones I hate the most. Makes my ears bleed.

 

[Constance]

One thing that gets to me and the missus is a sort of universal greeting that gets used here. Something along the lines of...

"Aiyayallriiiite?"

We think that means "Hello, are you alright?" but we're not sure.
I come from Sahf lahndan meself so I drop me th's somefing chronic.
I pronounce my own last name inncorrectly for example. Smiff.

 

[Dreamy]

Yes, I know that greeting well! If you want to confuse people, when they say 'alright' as a hello just say 'fine thanks, yourself?'

The amount of people who've stopped in their tracks unsure of what to do is quite astounding

 

[NinaHi]

This thread = comedy gold for the responses. Whew. I thought I was the only one noticing these bits.

 

[CarolynS]

Iain Abernethy ran a competiton once where he said a couple of sentences in a Cumbrian dialect and challenged anyone not from Cumbria to work out what he said.
Not many people got it.
You could say sentences in German that would have more in common with English than what he said.
And he lives a hundred miles to the west from me.

To be honest most UK accents can sound pretty bad if taken to their strongest and most collloquial.

 

[MarvellousMaiden]

Learn Scottish Words Part 1 - YouTube

With great effort I can understand this, but for anyone south of Carlisle it is just about incomprehensible. Anyone from the US/Oz/elsewehere just wont understand it at all.

Curiously, Danish Fishermen going into the fishing villages along the north-east coast (between Inverness to Aberdeen more or less) can understand the locals.

Doric Scots has nothing to do with Gaelic.

 

[happytrucker]

Hahah...I like how he keeps saying "noooo...tha neest wurrrrd is".
Top accent.

 

[jwall]

ahhahaha... the 'do wot' is one I hear quite a lot from my London friends.. ahahhaha

cockney parents' evening - YouTube

 

[girl_95]

This was made by Mothy Python (Erc Idle is the 'teacher') and given away as a freebie flexi vinyl disc with Private Eye circa 1972 or so.

You need to be of that vintage to remember this the 1st time round and micky-taking that Ted Heath had to endue in the popular press because of his posh pukkka accent.

Learn How To Speak Propah English - Ted Heath - YouTube

 

[caitstoppable]

Heineken commercial - Water In Majorca - YouTube

 

[heyheychris10]

Not bad but most of 'em ain't saying "naughty" properly.
You don't pronounce the "T" where I come from (which granted isn't true cockney land).