Anyone know any funny one liners?

[Connie]

Does anyone one know any funny one liners about people like these two examples? (not necessarily about middle fingers :LL)
- Awh, look my middle finger likes you
- Just to let you know I'm typing this with my middle finger
Thanks guys

 

[Imurderteddybears]

"A dog catcher, an ex con, and a homless man walk into a bar.....
i actually forgot the rest but your mother is a whore."
my boss told me this a lil wile ago

 

[casualmale]

Women's rights.

 

[Spoonraker]

1 ----------------------------------------------- er

 

[worldlove]

Jimmy Fallon last night "Thank you Chris Humphries for not "Keeping Up With the Kardashians"