Yuck. My wife has been plotting a divorce! Is this a fair deal?

tJBt

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Feb 27, 2008
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I know it's wrong, but considering that I had received compromising photos of my wife with another man (a part-time, Walmart-style security guard), I went on her laptop today after she left for work at her law office. She normally brings it with her.The password was easy, Esquire666, which she has been using since law school, and there really wasn't much on there, just a bunch of hastily written legal drafts. But one caught my eye, simply titled "divorce agreement." She doesn’t do family law.It's written in my wife's usual sloppy style with her typical misspellings (using "their" instead of "there," for example), but in essence it gives me the children from 8 a.m. on Monday to 6 p.m. on Friday, except for holidays and during my wife's vacation time. It allows us each to keep our own incomes (she earned $120k last year; me $47k). She gets the house ($500k) and I get the studio with loft next door ($200k). It claims no fault for the divorce and does not provide for an au pair.Essentially, this agreement turns ME into the au pair. My wife works pretty much 12 hours a day Monday through Thursday, and barely sees the kids during that time anyway, and her work week ends on Friday at about 6 p.m. She gets about a month’s worth of vacation time a year, so she would get the kids during that time along with weekends and holidays, while I do all the schlepping of the kids to school and helping with homework, etc. Our savings would be split 75/25 in her favor.Who knows? This could just be a wild fantasy of my wife’s, and when she’s home we’re still intimate, though her wants in the bedroom have become stranger. On weekends, she’s quite normal acting. But I guess I need to be prepared should she slap this on me some time, and I’d hate to have a long and protracted divorce. I haven’t decided if I’m happy or not in my marriage, but I guess I need to decide soon.Does her plan sound reasonable?I normally make a good amount more than $47k. Last year was a bad year, but I have ventured into six figures in the past. We're in Florida. Don't forget, she's a lawyer and knows ever judge in these parts. Except for the 75/25 savings, it doesn't sound like a horrible deal, though I would miss the family vacations.
 
See an attorney and you will get a much larger settlement than she is planning if she has in fact been cheating
 
I like how at the beginning of your question, you said "yuck". Sorry about the divorce. Milk her for whatever she's got.
 
Wow this is a rough one. Maybe you should just confront her about it. I mean I guess this happens when things are done behind someone's back. Talk about it and what she has done was wrong having an affair is not right. I don't agree with things like that. Good luck.
 
Why would you want to stay with someone who hooked up with any wal-mart employee?take the loft and kids and get the hell outta there.
 
take the studio and sell it then get your own place. better yet print it off and take it to your own lawyer and beat her at her own game
 
she is an attorney not a judge get your own attorney and you will find a more equitable agreement comes from it
 
The next time you get onto her laptop, print everything out and give copies to your lawyer, along with the photos.Do NOT leave the house. She could then get you for abandonment.
 
NoYou should get alimony and half the value of the houses150,000 in cash plus child supportAre you sure you aren't that Jack guy?
 
Confront her about this. If it's true, then get an attorney. You could most certainly claim fault and go for child support as she is willing to hand the bulk of the child raising responsibility over to you.
 
The parent who has custody usually gets to keep the marital home. Most courts think a divorce is traumatic enough for children. Them having to move into a different residence is asking too much. She'll also have to pay child support. If the children have had a nanny while you were married, most courts would agree they'll need one when they're being raise in a single parent household. I'm guessing that Walmart-style security guard has something to offer her... and it certainly isn't money.EDIT: You haven't decided whether you're happy or not with your marriage? lol Bashing her boyfriend's sperm's heads in with your penis. Yeah... that makes plenty of husbands happy.
 
OmC! I am so sorry! I can't believe that and that is such an awful way to find out! As far as if it is fair, that is up to you, about your kids, you should try to figure out what is best for them and you have to see them, one way or the other. I can't live without seeing either of my parents, they're my parents! For the house and the loft, do you mind, would you rather get another house, as far as the 200 vs. 500; it doesn't seem that fair considering she does make more than you, but then who put more in the house? these things have to be considered. Hope the best for you in the future.
 
Try talking to her. Tell her you went into her lap top - let the hysteria of that die down and tell her why.If you had the children for those hours you would have custody and she would have to pay child support (usually 20% for the first child and a few more percentages per additional - depending on the state).A good attorney could say the children have had an au pair and it is an undue hardship for them to be without. Since the mother is 'giving up her children' she can bear the burden of that expense on top of the support.Also, having been divorced twice - nothing is fair. NO ONE WINS!!! But filing first gives the better advantage.
 
depending on the state you live in... you may be entitled to part of her income or investments accumulated during the marriage; ie, 401k... what about cars, debt; ie, credit cards... some divorce lawyers will only charge 100 dollars for initial consultation for what to expect.
 
You are so making this up. I hope...If you're not, go see a lawyer; see a lawyer who is not your wife.
 
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