Why do you men watch porn and look at naked celebs? GUYS ONLY!!?

[MaryG]

Guys, I have discovered that my bf of 5.5 years has been watching porn and looking up naked celebs, and other naked women online, but mainly watching videos online. There are sometimes he doesn't want anything to do with me, we live together so that could be it. We are both overweight, but I am by no means an ugly woman, just heavy. He also lies about it, but I know he does it. What I need to know from you guys is...
1. Do I need to worry about it?
2. Do you watch porn and look at these pics because you are sad your woman doesn't look like that?
3. Why can't you stop when you know it upsets us?
4. Would you be willing to throw away 5 years with your woman just so that you can continue to watch your online fantasies?

I'm looking for honesty here. I've been to forum after forum after forum that says the same crap about "it's a guy thing." I need more of an explanation. I want to know why I'm not good enough. The forums also say "it has nothing to do with you, it's just something he needs." If I'm good enough, why the hell are you still with me AND you need to watch this crap? To me, it's cheating when you're getting your jollies off to another women (whether her tits and orgasmic emotions are fake or not).
oh yea, I'm a sex fanatic...he gets plenty of oral, anal, whatever he wants...it's always him that doesn't want to have sex, not me.

 

[mctmes]

Even though I'm not a guy I want to answer this.

First of all, it doesn't matter what you look like. Just think about all the celebrity gossip stories of these beautiful women being cheated on, like Jessica Simpson. You would think that her man wouldn't even want to look at another woman with "perfect" looks like hers, but it does happen. Men just can't help themselves, unfortunately.

I have struggled with the same problem you are having, and once you realize that you could be the most beautiful woman in the world, and guys will still look at, and even masturbate to other women, it makes the pain and feelings of inadequacy a little less.

Is it acceptable behavior? Not if you don't think it is. There are rules and boundaries within a relationship, and if you think he has crossed a line, than he has.

I think you need to worry about it if it is affecting your relationship, which it clearly is. It doesn't seem as if he respects your feelings on this matter. Your feelings should matter to him, and this is obviously causing you a lot of pain. You said that "sometimes he doesn't want anything to do with me," which demonstrates that he may be substituting porn for intimacy with you, which is VERY unhealthy and smacks of a possible addiction.

Men can be very selfish and arrogant but also insecure. Maybe try asking him how he would like it if you were constantly looking at pictures of muscular, naked men with big d!cks, I don't think he would like that. They also DO NOT "need" to watch porn, that is something that people believe because it has become so common for men to do it. 50 years ago, it wasn't common at all for men to look at, and was something reserved for lonely perverts, but now thanks to the wonderful internet, both men and women alike are falling prey to pornography.

P.S. - I agree that it's cheating to get off while looking at someone else.

 

[CarlG]

He probably feels that he can't do real freaky stuff with you, so he gets turned on by watching other people do it. If he tried some of that porn stuff with you, he feels like you would judge him. For men who are insecure about performance, fantasies are better than reality. Maybe they can't satisfy their partner in real life, when they can make the woman in the mental fantasy have multiple orgasms. Just a few thoughts.