When your children ask you about sex, how will you respond?

[Zenny]

I was thinking about this yesterday, my brother is getting older- my mother fears it. She's not looking forward to it. When I was a "tween" I asked, and they handed me a book and said, "Read this." I don't want to do that.... it did not turn out well for me.

I was thinking about how I would explain it, but I don't want to be it just biology- I would prefer to explain how meaningful it can be as an beautiful expression of divine love, for it to have meaning when they find "the one" and not to just... "run around". Sacredness, really. In a spiritual sense, but not necessarily in a religious sense... not sure if I explained that right.

Honestly, I really don't want them to be afraid to talk to me- I want them to feel secure enough to be honest with me.. (I hid everything from my parents and I had my first child at 17- did not tell them until I was 5 months pregnant. Highly religious family.)

 

[MortifiedPenguin]

ik what you mean, when i have kids i dont want them to be afraid to talk to me about this stuff or hid the fact that their having sex.

when the day comes. im going to tell them how sex works. a man and woman who love each other very much, details, orgasms, pregnancy. but i dont wanna be one of those parents that says wait til marriage. sex is sex, dont have it until your ready, and your ready for sex when your in love. "real love"

 

[SlimShady]

I remember i asked when i was like 8 and my mom was like, You dont need to know that right now

 

[threenorns]

heh - "be careful what you wish for"

i have a 24yr old and a 21 yr old and i tried hard to make sure they could talk to be about anything.

the problem with that is i have to listen to them telling me things i really would rather not hear about!

just answer the question asked - no long lectures, no metaphysics, no rhapsodies on "two hearts joining in spiritual harmony". just answer the question as it's asked.

 

[mamaG]

When they're young, I responded with the, "Well, sometimes when a Mummy and a Daddy love each other _very_ much, they close their eyes, and they make a wish!"

My husband had "the talk" with my 7-year-old earlier this year, though, and I'll be having the same talk with my girls when they're around that age. He was straightforward about it... did have a book there as a prop, but they mostly just talked. My husband explained the basics, and then let my son ask questions. The whole thing was casual, respectful, and comfortable for both of them, I think.

 

[DAWK1723]

I want to be open with my kids. My mom told me things along, but never had the sit down talk about sex. I discovered things on my own mostly through hear say at school. AFter getting married at 19 and getting a computer I researched a lot of things. I learned a lot after getting married as well. I don't want that for my kids.

I plan to tell them anything they want to know and then some.

 

[LovesAva]

I plan on giving my kids age appropriate answers about sex whenever the question arises. I think it's so silly when parents try to ignore their kids curiosity.
Elaboarting as they get older and giving them the full educated talk when they start getting sexually promiscuous.