mmgmmematommMummlRa
New member
- Sep 16, 2008
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not being picked up on purpous ? just to say im 30 now , had a hard life suffered terrible misfortune and trauma, i live alone on disability in a one bedroom apartment / flat - i own nothing save for an old computer - ive missed out on all the normal things people take for granted like : being employed , gaining qualifications , forming relationships with people , gaining an education etc.
simply because ive endured a very bad life and not had chance to live, develop or better myself or enhance my life yet.
iam now waiting for a referal to group therapy, because there is no DBT therapy anywhere in my area or individual psychotherapy.
ive been diagnosed with borderline personality and ptsd.
i have a big distrust of people in general and of the establishment , suffered paranoia alot in my life feeling that people are against me.......i dont hate people really, but i do feel resentment , anger, bitterness, rage for the happiness or lives others have.
i constantly and for a while worry there is things wrong with me that are not being detected by mental health services or the physical health services.
recentley ive had test done in urology because i went with ' frequent ' urination and pelvis pains - all the tests came back clear.
had diabetes test because im overweight, slightly , out of shape and was thirsty alot and urinating excessively - all the test were fine .
recentley and for over a year ive had acheing weak joints and limbs and muscles, that easily move out of place , if i type on keyboard or if i write , my hand and arm aches that iam using - i went to the doctors last week and the doctor said from the symptoms i describe its nothing to worry about..
i have cracked skin that is torn on the head of my penis , i was told by 2 dermatologist that its normal, theres no skin disorder , so ive asked for a 3rd opinion frm a professor , so now im waiting .
i was checked out at the std clinic months ago, they said test were clear..
i was told the cracked torn skin on my penis could be due to excessive masturbation which ive done for a long time..
for a long time ive had the symptoms of getting times where i cant focus on things, or read test , my thoughts spin , a 100 thoughts racing through my head at once , i get disorientated , disorganised , forget things i was thinking about moments before , lose my train of thought etc.
i worry that could mean something , i told my psychiatrist, he just simply said months ago ' its probally down to anxiety ' - so i feel theyve missed something their or not done appropriate tests. ot the symptom is deliberatly being overlooked .
i get muscle twitches sometimes , i worry that is something or means something.
my little self confidence feels easily undermined by some people sometimes, like people have power over me to make me feel worthless - i worry thats a symptom of something
blood tests i had weeks ago at my doctors said they came back normal.
bottom line is i dont trust the establishment and worry theyre purpousfully missing stuff, obviously i have no evidence for this - and i cant force the health professionals to do unlimited tests until im satified or reassured.
how do i handle this ?
simply because ive endured a very bad life and not had chance to live, develop or better myself or enhance my life yet.
iam now waiting for a referal to group therapy, because there is no DBT therapy anywhere in my area or individual psychotherapy.
ive been diagnosed with borderline personality and ptsd.
i have a big distrust of people in general and of the establishment , suffered paranoia alot in my life feeling that people are against me.......i dont hate people really, but i do feel resentment , anger, bitterness, rage for the happiness or lives others have.
i constantly and for a while worry there is things wrong with me that are not being detected by mental health services or the physical health services.
recentley ive had test done in urology because i went with ' frequent ' urination and pelvis pains - all the tests came back clear.
had diabetes test because im overweight, slightly , out of shape and was thirsty alot and urinating excessively - all the test were fine .
recentley and for over a year ive had acheing weak joints and limbs and muscles, that easily move out of place , if i type on keyboard or if i write , my hand and arm aches that iam using - i went to the doctors last week and the doctor said from the symptoms i describe its nothing to worry about..
i have cracked skin that is torn on the head of my penis , i was told by 2 dermatologist that its normal, theres no skin disorder , so ive asked for a 3rd opinion frm a professor , so now im waiting .
i was checked out at the std clinic months ago, they said test were clear..
i was told the cracked torn skin on my penis could be due to excessive masturbation which ive done for a long time..
for a long time ive had the symptoms of getting times where i cant focus on things, or read test , my thoughts spin , a 100 thoughts racing through my head at once , i get disorientated , disorganised , forget things i was thinking about moments before , lose my train of thought etc.
i worry that could mean something , i told my psychiatrist, he just simply said months ago ' its probally down to anxiety ' - so i feel theyve missed something their or not done appropriate tests. ot the symptom is deliberatly being overlooked .
i get muscle twitches sometimes , i worry that is something or means something.
my little self confidence feels easily undermined by some people sometimes, like people have power over me to make me feel worthless - i worry thats a symptom of something
blood tests i had weeks ago at my doctors said they came back normal.
bottom line is i dont trust the establishment and worry theyre purpousfully missing stuff, obviously i have no evidence for this - and i cant force the health professionals to do unlimited tests until im satified or reassured.
how do i handle this ?