what do you miss about being/not being in a relationship

[CHAD88]

Something i've been thinking about recently.

If you are currently in a relationship, what do you miss most about being single?

If you are currently single, what do you miss most about being in a relationship (or think you are missing if you have never yet been in one)?

 

[LindseyWhitley]

I don't miss anything about being in a relationship really. I have several very good friends who provide all the benefits of actually being with someone without the baggage of any arguing, and it's also very nice to be able to meet new people on a night out (or online in fact) and not be wracked with guilt before anything has even happened.


I guess you could say it's actually that my relationships seem to have got a lot more mature than they were. All the arguing/fighting/jealousy seems so adolescent to me now.

 

[JessJ]

Doesn't sound like you've ever been in any particularly good relationships. If you don't miss *anything* about being in a relationship are you aiming for a lifetime of batchelorhood?

 

[AlexisInfectious®]

I was in a relationship for 12 years which was great at times, but I simply wasn't ready to be with one person for the rest of my life. The result was a huge amount of resentment build up from both of us. Eventually it became clear to me I just didn't love her any more.

Spending time with a lot of people is, I've now realized, an essential part of growing up. I'd never rule out being with one person, but I'm also forming the opinion that it's not necessary to adhere to that to have healthy, happy relationships.


When I'm done being a caveman I'll try being with one person again.

 

[kingtaco]

I never miss anything about a relationship when I'm single. The only thing I do miss is not having the chance to be with a girl I like at the time.

If anyone's guessed, yes I was just turned down yesterday by the girl (close friend) who I've liked for almost a year now

 

[Spicebabe]

Following on from what I said: I'd say if it's something about 'being in a relationship' that you miss, it's not a good reason to be in one - that's basically just settling because you're feeling lonely.

Wanting to be in a relationship should be because you want to be with that one particular person. Not because you're feeling depressed watching "Scrubs" on your own on a Monday night.

 

[LindseyWhitley]

True. But that doesn't mean that single people don't miss certain aspects of being in a relationship, without any one specific person in mind.

 

[heygirlheyy08]

such as what?

 

[lovegoddess11]

Intimacy, companionship, sex, someone to share everything with, security..

I dunno, I'm in a very happy relationship, I'm interested (in both sides of the equation) which is why I asked the question.

 

[mazzxtc]

I've had nothing but horrible relationships. I always seem to fall for the crazy girl, or the one who hasn't yet figured out what she wants with her life. I don't miss a damn thing.

 

[JackO07]

Im yet to be in a long lasting relationship, ive had a few short lived ones but ive always had doubts so called it off before it went any further. Lots of my mates have just panicked and thought they had to get with someone, then one thing leads to another and it ends up messy and stuck in a rut.

Im not prepared to commit to someone until i know inside i truly want to be with that person. I hope i meet that person sooner rather than later of course.

 

[Cupcakes]

Ditto brother.

 

[Elektrisk]

yup, I get all those

The cool thing about being single is you can choose your own level of involvement... a series of one night stands doesn't get you any intimacy, but that's not how I live. I have friends with benefits who I feel 100% comfortable with talking about pretty much anything. In fact far more so than in my long term relationship - but obviously that's more of reflection of the state of that particular relationship than relationships in general.

Then again I often hear people in relationships complain (in a light hearted way) about what they are and aren't 'allowed' to do and say. It all sounds kinda jokey until you realize that in some cases they are actually being made to feel unhappy because their partner doesn't like something about them.






On an emotional level, I provide my own Your partner shouldn't be a security blanket for a half-formed emotional being.

 

[ZippityDooDa]

The vast majority of my ex-girlfriends were excited to be in a relationship at first, but then they later decide they aren't ready for one, or they spend so much of their time working and what not and neglect the relationship, or they are just straight up insane.

I don't have grudge against women, but I'm sick of the b.s. I've had to endure from them. I'm so sick of all the drama, lies, and "reasons" that I really just want to avoid more of this nonsense, even if I have to stay single until my dying breath. I'm not afraid of getting hurt again, but it's gonna talk one amazing woman to get me to drop my guard.

 

[supestitches]

I agree with this completely.

 

[PinkMonkeyBird]

Sounds like you have a good thing going on.

I'd be suprised if that many single people were in a similar boat though.

when i was single, I was perfectly happy being single - there were still things about being in a relationship i missed.

Now that i'm in a relationship, I'm still very very happy, there are still things about being single that i miss.



you don't have to be emotionaly half-formed to get some from a loving partner though.

 

[mommywannabe]

Well when you meet someone amazing, it's totally cool that you should want to be with them... we've all felt it at some point I hope.

I'm just saying it's not the 'being in a relationship' you miss... or it shouldn't be if you're sufficiently happy with yourself. Being with a person so great you want a relationship with them is what you miss.


Obviously it helps that I have a small number of very close friends (male and female) so I don't lack for emotional contact even though I'm not 'with' anyone.

 

[Lyl]

Yeh its the person your with not necessarily the relationship that makes it special or not.

 

[JoeJonasLover]

Funnily enough I was having a chat last week with a girl I've been seeing recently... we were hanging out a lot, and finally had a 'serious' talk about what we were doing. Fortunately we're both in a zone where we still really like being able to meet new people without guilt, so we'll continue to see each other but stay single.

 

[haywuzhapnin]

lol...your just a whore medi admit it!