So it's about 10.03am here by my computers time and it's actually 6.23pm which should set the scene for the following fairly well, I'm on my ny own in a computer room and I want to kill someone because two lines on my PC read:
i1 = 2
i2 = 4
Instead of:
i1 = 4
i2 = 4
And they have done for the last 2 hours!
Anyway, rather than kill someone I'm going to instead vent by recounting some of the odder ways that I have fixed my computer/code I'm writting in my last three and a bit years studying computer science at Uni.
Number one has to be realising the machine I was working on hated me so getting someone to write the exact same java keyword for me and watching in amazement as the mahine promptly compiled it. It should be noted that at this point three phd students, one professor, a technician and 5 of my mates where gathered round the machine. We decided that their was jno way in hell the code I wrote was wrong and in sheer desperation a friend simply deleted the line and typed it again....
Another way I've found to make computers do what you want is hit them, this was witnessed by two of my friends, i simply smacked the machine monitor, called it a stupid piece of crap and watched in amazement as my code promptly started working.
Other techniques attempted include:
Telling the machine that I'm going for a cup of water and if it isn't working when I get back telling it the water is going to be it's new "Heat sink"
Threatening to perform an exorcism on a machine.
Threatening to wash the machine in goats blood.
Gently whispering to the machine that if it doesn't start working I'm going to violate it with a wet umbrella. (This one works with some technicians as well)
Hiding beneath the desk and clicking the compile button because that way it won't know it's me doing it.
Threatening to install windows on a Linux machine.
Threatening a Linux machine with beatings of random penguins at the zoo.
Threatening to throw a machine out of the window of our sixth floor room.
Pulling one of my socks onto my hand and pretending to be Mister Sock Puppet, not that mean git Slindsay.
Crying.
Threatening to throw myself out of a sixth floor window.
And of course the classic (Seen this done once by a friend) standing up in the middle of the cluster, pointing a trembling finger at the machine and screaming:
"NO! You are Illogical!!"
Anyway, rant over, I'll get to go back to work now, anyone who has similar experiences please do share.
i1 = 2
i2 = 4
Instead of:
i1 = 4
i2 = 4
And they have done for the last 2 hours!
Anyway, rather than kill someone I'm going to instead vent by recounting some of the odder ways that I have fixed my computer/code I'm writting in my last three and a bit years studying computer science at Uni.
Number one has to be realising the machine I was working on hated me so getting someone to write the exact same java keyword for me and watching in amazement as the mahine promptly compiled it. It should be noted that at this point three phd students, one professor, a technician and 5 of my mates where gathered round the machine. We decided that their was jno way in hell the code I wrote was wrong and in sheer desperation a friend simply deleted the line and typed it again....
Another way I've found to make computers do what you want is hit them, this was witnessed by two of my friends, i simply smacked the machine monitor, called it a stupid piece of crap and watched in amazement as my code promptly started working.
Other techniques attempted include:
Telling the machine that I'm going for a cup of water and if it isn't working when I get back telling it the water is going to be it's new "Heat sink"
Threatening to perform an exorcism on a machine.
Threatening to wash the machine in goats blood.
Gently whispering to the machine that if it doesn't start working I'm going to violate it with a wet umbrella. (This one works with some technicians as well)
Hiding beneath the desk and clicking the compile button because that way it won't know it's me doing it.
Threatening to install windows on a Linux machine.
Threatening a Linux machine with beatings of random penguins at the zoo.
Threatening to throw a machine out of the window of our sixth floor room.
Pulling one of my socks onto my hand and pretending to be Mister Sock Puppet, not that mean git Slindsay.
Crying.
Threatening to throw myself out of a sixth floor window.
And of course the classic (Seen this done once by a friend) standing up in the middle of the cluster, pointing a trembling finger at the machine and screaming:
"NO! You are Illogical!!"
Anyway, rant over, I'll get to go back to work now, anyone who has similar experiences please do share.