The Tardy Excuse Thread

On most days I would walk into first hour 15 min late, teachers stopped caring lmao.

But your damn sure as soon as I turned 18 I wrote my own absent notes, every single one of them with long over detailed explanations about "explosive diarrhea"
 
"i was going to be here on time, but unfortunately right as i left my house my anus exploded and gallons of fecal matter covered not only me but my school books as well. i have pics if you call shens."
 
One time I skipped class and gave the teacher a note saying that I was sick and signed by me. She just laughed and didn't care. lol
 
i had 78 absences in a 9 week period of time (each class you missed counted as 1) i just told them i was having personal and family issues and they excussed them all.
but its easy now if im late for formation i just say im still drunk and the fat bitch i brought back last night wouldnt leave.
 
I was walking to school when out of nowhere I was attacked by several ninjas. I died in the arms of my true love, who luckily was a voodoo master and brought me back to life. Sorry I'm late, it will never happen again.
 
i had a neighbor exactly like that...i didn't use it to no go to class though.
i have successfully used, "dog ate my (book, homework, senior project binder)"
 
"i was dead"

but for real


once it went down like this

Teacher - you know you're tardy?!?
me - what the hell did you just call me?
teacher - i said you were tardy
me - oh i thought you said i was retarded, you're lucky.

and then i sat down and nothing happened, except some people in the class chuckled
 
"last night my friend called me gay, i believed him. So i was whoring myself out on the corner for men. i liked it. sorry i'm late, it won't happen again..... i am available after class" give a wink and your home free.


EDIT: never tried this.
 
that doesnt even make sense :rolleyes:

at my high school, 3 tardies is a detention. no questions asked. you dont get excuses.
 
-i got pulled over
-The bus driver was going like 90 past my bus stop and didnt stop so i had to wait for my mom to get up to drive me to school.(the teacher will be really pissed at the bus driver and forget about you being late)
-power went out last night.
-i had to change my diaper.
-i was really hungry so i went to IHOP.(it always works at my school cuz theres an IHOP on the way there for most kids.)
-i have diarea can i go home now.
-i was here but i was locked in the bathroom and i had to wait for someone to open the door from the outside.
-my locker wouldnt open
-i hate school
-i was up really late doing my homework trying to get an A.
-i had to stop at the store to get you these(give her or him some flowers and a wink)
-on my way to the bus stop someone was walking there dog and they fell and broke there hip so i had to drive them to the hospital.
 
Got a detention for this. "Saving Tokyo from Mothra attack"
Our teachers can't take a joke, the detention was for lieing lulz.
 
Told my teacher i was helping a handicapped person. She laughed and said next time i was late she'd start counting them.
 
Works every time, especially since a few of the times it was true.

And who is that in your avvy, that looks like a really hot version of my friends sister.
 
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