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It's September. Divisions are up for grabs, wild card races are wild and half of MLB still has a chance at the playoffs. The Stew is in the process of planning out how 16 contenders could win the World Series, "could" being the operative word. Warning: All plans will be absurd, some will be more absurd than others.
Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Record: 74-70
Status:*The Milwaukee Brewers were the surprise team of the MLB season up until about two weeks ago. Now they're the National League's version of the Oakland Athletics, free-falling at turbo speed. The Brewers have lost 12 of their last 13 games, going from first place in the NL Central to third place. They're six games back in the division, but only 1 1/2 out in the NL wild-card race, so there's still postseason hope.
It would be a shame for the Brewers' season to slip away from them. They were in first place every day from April 5-Sept. 1. Jonathan Lucroy's had a breakout year worth of MVP votes. Carlos Gomez continued to emerge as one of the game's best all-around players. Their pitching staff was better than expected, and the Brewers were able to stay ahead in the hyper-competitive NL Central. They even had the best stray-dog story around.
Things are falling apart now, but they don't have to stay that way. We've seen the Brewers be a good team. It can happen again. The fix they need is better performances from their starting pitching. They've been horrible during this recent slide (more on that soon). But if the Brewers need some absurd strategies, we have those below.
THE BREWERS WILL WIN THE WORLD SERIES IF THESE FIVE THINGS HAPPEN:
1. Carlos Gomez discovers that his injured left wrist has left with him go-go-gadget abilities and he can catch every ball hit, anywhere on the field, by extending his arm. He still leaps to rob homers. For the style points, obviously.
2. They take those new self-service beer machines at Miller Park and put them in the visitor's clubhouse and the visitor's dugout. It's a cutting-edge strategy known in baseball circles as "Get your opponent sloshed."
3. Ryan Braun finds a magic genie lamp and asks for these three wishes: "Make people forget my past," "Make me play like it's 2011 again" and "Fix my body."
4. Hank the Dog puts on a uniform and learns how to pitch. Did you see this stat about how bad the Brewers' starting pitching has been lately? Hank can't be much worse. Opposing batters would marvel at how cute he is and forget to swing.
PREVIOUSLY IN THIS SERIES: Seattle Mariners |*Pittsburgh Pirates |*New York Yankees*|*Cleveland Indians*|*Miami Marlins
More MLB coverage from Yahoo Sports:
Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Record: 74-70
Status:*The Milwaukee Brewers were the surprise team of the MLB season up until about two weeks ago. Now they're the National League's version of the Oakland Athletics, free-falling at turbo speed. The Brewers have lost 12 of their last 13 games, going from first place in the NL Central to third place. They're six games back in the division, but only 1 1/2 out in the NL wild-card race, so there's still postseason hope.
It would be a shame for the Brewers' season to slip away from them. They were in first place every day from April 5-Sept. 1. Jonathan Lucroy's had a breakout year worth of MVP votes. Carlos Gomez continued to emerge as one of the game's best all-around players. Their pitching staff was better than expected, and the Brewers were able to stay ahead in the hyper-competitive NL Central. They even had the best stray-dog story around.
Things are falling apart now, but they don't have to stay that way. We've seen the Brewers be a good team. It can happen again. The fix they need is better performances from their starting pitching. They've been horrible during this recent slide (more on that soon). But if the Brewers need some absurd strategies, we have those below.
THE BREWERS WILL WIN THE WORLD SERIES IF THESE FIVE THINGS HAPPEN:
1. Carlos Gomez discovers that his injured left wrist has left with him go-go-gadget abilities and he can catch every ball hit, anywhere on the field, by extending his arm. He still leaps to rob homers. For the style points, obviously.
2. They take those new self-service beer machines at Miller Park and put them in the visitor's clubhouse and the visitor's dugout. It's a cutting-edge strategy known in baseball circles as "Get your opponent sloshed."
3. Ryan Braun finds a magic genie lamp and asks for these three wishes: "Make people forget my past," "Make me play like it's 2011 again" and "Fix my body."
#Brewers starters are 1-11 with a 6.95 ERA in the last 13 games. Take away Mike Fiers, it's 0-10, 7.91.
— Adam McCalvy (@AdamMcCalvy) September 9, 2014
5. Someone steals every calendar, smart phone, tablet in the Brewers clubhouse and changes their dates to make the team think it's April not September. The Brewers return to their early-season form (19-8 in April) and stop being the sluggish team that's 14-21 since Aug. 1.— Adam McCalvy (@AdamMcCalvy) September 9, 2014
PREVIOUSLY IN THIS SERIES: Seattle Mariners |*Pittsburgh Pirates |*New York Yankees*|*Cleveland Indians*|*Miami Marlins
More MLB coverage from Yahoo Sports:
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Mike Oz is an editor for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter! Follow @MikeOz