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That's where we step in. The Big League Stew crew has compiled a list of the winners and losers of opening day. Which players and teams looked like the real deal? Which played like they thought it was still March?
Here are our choices:
WINNER: JAKE ARRIETA
The reigning National League Cy Young winner did not disappoint in his first start of the season. Arrieta allowed just two hits and one walk over seven scoreless innings. He struck out six, and sat back and watched as his Chicago Cubs put a nine run pounding on the Los Angeles Angels. (Cwik)
• • •
LOSER: ZACK GREINKE
The Arizona Diamondbacks’ $206 million man, the signature signing that propelled their offseason, sputtered into 2016. Greinke wasn’t just meh, he was completely out of character. He lasted only four innings, getting dinged by the Colorado Rockies for seven earned runs on nine hits, including three homers. Six of those runs came in the third inning, which itself is while when you consider these two factoids:
Greinke didn't give up six earned runs in a game once last season. He gave up six that inning.
— Nick Piecoro (@nickpiecoro) April 5, 2016
— Nick Piecoro (@nickpiecoro) April 5, 2016
Zack Greinke lasts 4 IP in first start with #Diamondbacks (15.75 ERA). He had at least 6 IP in all 32 starts last year for #Dodgers.
— Bill Shaikin (@BillShaikin) April 5, 2016
Not the premiere the D-backs were hoping for when they shocked the world and signed Greinke. (Mike Oz)— Bill Shaikin (@BillShaikin) April 5, 2016
• • •
On the otherwise of the Greinke divorce, the Los Angeles Dodgers did just fine on opening day. Actually, they were better than fine. They were dynamite.
[Elsewhere: Bryce Harper wore a "make baseball fun again" cap after the Nats' win]
The Dodgers walloped the San Diego Padres, 15-0. Clayton Kershaw pitched for the Dodgers, which help explains the 0 for San Diego. He threw seven innings of one-hit ball, striking out nine and even got a hit. Ever Dodgers starter got a hit, including Adrian Gonzalez, who was 3-for-4 and Yasiel Puig, who was 2-for-3 and scored three runs. As for the Padres? Well … (Oz)
The #Padres lose 15-0. It is the worst Opening Day shutout loss in Major League history and the worst Opening Day loss ever by the #Padres.
— Bill Center (@PadresCentral) April 5, 2016
• • •— Bill Center (@PadresCentral) April 5, 2016
We would love to call her a loser, but Mother Nature is undefeated when it comes to defeating April baseball games. Both the Yankees/Astros game and the Red Sox/Indians contests were postponed due to inclement weather. Those teams will open the season Tuesday.
The Orioles and Twins suffered perhaps a worse fate, though. While the two teams were able to get the game in, the start of the contest was delayed. The game eventually got underway, but that didn’t last long. After just two innings, the rain arrived. After a nearly three-hour delay, the two teams finally got back on the field. They technically outlasted Mother Nature, but she still won in the end. (Chris Cwik)
• • •
WINNER: BRYCE HARPER
The reigning National League MVP kicked off the season in the best way possible, hitting a home run in his first at-bat. That’s not the first time Harper has gone yard on opening day. In fact, the 23-year-old has already clubbed four opening day home runs in his young career. Harper also walked twice, showing the excellent plate discipline he displayed last year. The Nationals would go on to win in extras, and Harper would go on to wear a cap with the slogan “make baseball fun again” during his postgame interviews. All in all, not a bad way to kick off the season. (Cwik)
• • •
WINNER: NEW NAT DANIEL MURPHY
The MVP wasn’t the only Nat who found himself winning on opening day. Daniel Murphy, whose free agency let to D.C., had two hits in his first game. He homered and had the go-ahead double in the 10th inning that gave the Nats’ their 4-3 win over the Atlanta Braves. (Oz)
• • •
LOSERS: PHILLIES*
Nobody in Philadelphia will be too upset about this, given the result of the National Championship game Monday night between Villanova and North Carolina, but earlier in the day, the Phillies ended up opening-day chumps. Things seemed to be going well for the Phillies, actually. Jeremy Hellickson (yep, he was their opening-day starter) pitched six solid innings, allowing just three hits and one run. But in the eighth inning, hanging on to a 2-1 lead, the Phillies’ bullpen went haywire. David Hernandez and James Russell gave up five runs*as the Cincinnati Reds won 6-2. Oof. (Oz)
• • •
WINNER: TREVOR STORY*
New Colorado Rockies shortstop Trevor Story came into opening day having earned the starting job after an impressive spring. The hype was high: Could Story, a 23-year-old former first round pick, take his place already as the successor to Troy Tulowitzki. Well, he certainly impressed on opening day. He homered twice against the Arizona Diamondbacks — off Greinke, no less — and drove in four runs. Here’s his piece of history: He’s the first player in MLB history to homer twice in his MLB debut on opening day. Not bad, kid. (Oz)
• • •
Making your first-career opening day start is supposed to be a joyous occasion. That was certainly not the case for Padres right-hander Tyson Ross, at least once the game began.
[Elsewhere: Kevin Pillar kicked off the season with another exceptional defensive play]
It was apparent early that Ross didn’t have his best stuff and the Dodgers roughed him up for eight runs, seven of them earned, in 5 ? innings. Fortunately for Ross, this day does come around every year, but after his debut went so poorly, there’s no guarantee he’ll ever get a shot at redemption. (Israel Fehr)
• • •
WINNER: THE GIANTS' OFFENSE
San Francisco’s splashy offseason moves were to improve their rotation, but it was the bats that stole the show on opening day. The Giants combined for five home runs in their 12-3 win against Milwaukee, including back-to-back-to-back shots from Denard Span, Joe Panik and Buster Posey. If they can hit better than average all season and free-agent signings Johnny Cueto and Jeff Samardzija complement Madison Bumgarner on the mound, watch out for San Francisco. It is an even-numbered year, after all. (Fehr)
• • •
WINNER: ROBINSON CANO
Robinson Cano is looking to put his worst season in nearly a decade behind and show he’s still a force to be reckon with. A home run in the opener is a nice first step. The Mariners second baseman smacked a fastball from Rangers starter Cole Hamels into the right field seats in the first inning to start 2016 with a bang. (Fehr)
• • •
LOSERS: MARINERS
For the first time since 2006, the Seattle Mariners suffered a loss on opening day. Felix Hernandez, who was on the mound for all but one of those wins, now knows what it’s like to open the season with a 0-1 record after one start. Hernandez allowed just one hit over six innings, but his five walks led to three Texas runs, which was all the Rangers need to hand Seattle a rare opening-day defeat. (Fehr)
Also Texas is first team to wins season opener when offense had one or fewer hits since at least 1900.
— John Blake (@RangerBlake) April 4, 2016
• • •— John Blake (@RangerBlake) April 4, 2016
LOSERS: THE YOUNG TWINS
The Minnesota Twins have good reason to believe their future is bright with top prospects Miguel Sano and Byron Buxton on board. Based on their opening day performances, though, expectations should probably be tempered for the time being. Sano and Buxton combined to go 0-for-7 with five strikeouts in the Twins’ 3-2 loss to Baltimore. Young players will take their lumps as they get acclimated to the big leagues and for as talented as Sano and Buxton are, they’ll be no different. (Fehr)
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Mike Oz is the editor of Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter! Follow @MikeOz