Online bullying

[ScottWhiteNokiaNavySeal]

What do we think about online bullying?
I'm a little baffled to be honest.
Some woman on radio 4 (UK radio) compared online bullying to being bullied at school...with the difference being that you can walk away from school bullies.
Now...isn't that utterly round the wrong way!??
Children are forced by law to attend school...you have to go to school and that's where the bully will be. The bully is physically in the same place as you or even lives just down the road.
But no one is forced to go on ask.fm or somewhere similar are they?
How does someone endure months of online bullying on one site?
If all of a sudden I started getting bullied on MAP I'd go elsewhere. I'd avoid MAP.
If you don't go and read what the bullies say then it's not really happening "to you" is it?

Now it may be different if a bully gets your personal e-mail details, mobile number or something. That's a lot harder to avoid.
But even then you can change your e-mail.
Get a g-mail or live account.
And arguably using someone's phone number isn't online bullying but actual real world stalking.

 

[cena]

Not so easy for kids that all use the same social media sites & MSN etc:
The bullying starts in school I guess then where in the past it would end at 4pm it continues with texts and messages

Having recently endured a week if hate messages from a young(ish) lady it's not very nice at all. It only stopped when she messaged my son in Wales and my wife (soon to be ex) took exception and when I passed on the warning I fell foul of the police which at least stopped the messages.

It's not to be underestimated in its power to cause harm

 

[lil_vampire2011]

Think of it this way, if every day there was a front page article in the Times calling you a series of horrible things with an abusive caricature attached would "just don't read it" help you that much as a suggestion?

 

[Sfdan]

Plus, the kids who have killed themselves were vulnerable and self-conscious to begin with, according to the papers.

 

[Phantomfreak101]

Schools in New York State are taking it very seriously.

Kids are on these sites all the time and its so very easy for one or more kids to pile up on another and spread horrid lies (or embarrassing truths) very, very quickly. So, even for the kids who avoid the sites (or who may not even be online at all), social media can be a force multiplier for peer pressure and bullying... it accentuates how much kids hear (and believe) even more so than 'just' through normal conversations.

Social media has added a whole new realm to deal with as teachers, parents, and students and it will take some doing to wrap our heads around it. I tell so many kids to remember that there is "no expectation" of privacy online and if you take a picture/video of something, expect that it will surface online.

 

[heidegger_001]

I think I've mentioned before that I work in education, and online bullying is an absolute menace. There are all sorts of new issues to deal with; anonimity of the perpetrators; uncertainty over whose "jursidiction" (for want of a much better word) does it fall under when it probably is happening from one kid's bedroom to another way out of school time; the fact that young people (and not so young) who would never get involved in face to face bullying will engage in this sort of behaviour, maybe because they feel physically separated from the results of their actions; the pervasiveness of it that others have mentioned- it doesn't stop and there is a feeling (depressingly accurate) that the entire class will have seen what has been said.

I think what offends me most is the cowardice. Bullying is always wrong of course, but there is something that sickens me about people who bully from behind alliases. If you are going to be vile to people around you at least have the guts to reveal yourself as a despicable human being and run the inherent risks.

 

[odenrocks]

Is ask.fm the same as a nationally circulated paper?

 

[QuintonB]

I can't read, or type, so it would be easy for me.

hgdfobvoibcui jhbqdcu o;huv

 

[javedhm]

If every other kid you know is on there then it is to you.

 

[Bek]

At the same time, you shouldn't have an ask.fm account if you're getting bullied.

 

[jordie0587]

That why they were picked on in the first place

 

[AndreC]

it's really easy for kids to feel a lot of pressure because of the things posted on social media sites. it's not as simple as "don't read it" or "don't sign up". it becomes really easy to personalize things online sometimes. you know how mean kids can be.

 

[GarrettS]

I was originally the same as you PASmith, I didn't get it because facebook and things have block buttons. However I did watch the Amanda Todd video and that changed my perspective slightly. She blocked the people bullying her, but they just created another account and did it again plus they only really had to do it once to get the desired effect in her case because they'd spread a topless picture of her to all of her classmates. Really sad video

I'm not sure if it still counts as cyber-bullying but there's also less common cases where people use social media to take it further. I remember there being a story about a girl on 4chan who refused to flash on the boards so the channers used her social media to get a hold of her address and phone numbers and bullied her that way. Although that crossed quite heavily into the stalking area rather than just cyber bullying.

Plus as with anything its easy to armchair quarterback. Its easy to say people should just block them and ignore it, but then we're not the ones being bullied. Obviously its not equal, but its like the disconnect with domestic abuse victims when people hearing about it say "well you should just leave." It goes deeper than that.

And also it depends on the medium. FB I'm more comfortable saying there's steps you can take. But what about forums? You could be on a forum that you really love and have a lot of friends on but there's on douche nozzle who rides you. If its not heavily modded you could still be exposed to that because the alternative is leaving somewhere where you have friends.

And the Amanda Todd video for anyone who doesn't know what I meant by her or who for some reason wants to feel very depressed. It also helps highlight Moi's point about vulnerable people. Amanda was quite obviously in that category. And the final thing that this video really brought home for me is even if I think cyber bullying is a nothing, like I don't really think it could effect me that much, the video shows that it is a serious issue that needs more than a quick brushing off by people who feel like it won't effect them or that they're better than that.

Amanda Todd's Story: Struggling, Bullying, Suicide, Self Harm - YouTube

 

[EL]

But online bullying can include posting pictures taken from mobile phones and suddenly something that was just local is a whole lot bigger. To some extent this is how the Ask.fm thing has blown up. Some responses were from people who obviously knew Hannah and I'll bet a lot were bandwagon responses.

If you think that just kids are affected Scooby ( a pretty well known bodybuilder posting on youtube for years, and years ) recently closed his account after trolling on 4Chan, some people got his home details, hassled him at work and his family. He's moving house, closed his youtube channel of 7 years

 

[jbizzle]

I love MAP (although it's got more annoying for me as of late) and I love some of you guys but I'd still choose to leave it rather than face ongoing bullying if it happened.
Especially if such bullying was making me consider suicide.
I think in some ways I've never been someone that got sucked into peer pressure than much so I don't quite understand why a person would continually visit a site that contained bullying.

We won't hesitate to tell people to avoid dodgy pubs, clubs or situations if they are concerned about their own safety.
Wouldn't websites also be in that category?

 

[MreSkater]

She was right in a sense. Because 'people' understand real life bullying, and there are ways of dealing with it because actual people have to do it in real life.

cyber bullying is different in that regard. Firstly, many adults still don't understand it or why it is a problem. Secondly, the perpetrators can remain totally anonymous, and can come back ad infinitum under different aliases. And thirdly, once it's on the internet, it will stay there forever. Those pictures, or slurs, or false accusations will never go away, and turn up for the rest of your life.

 

[jordan_30241]

removing yourself from social media is harder than you'd think for a lot of people. I know some colleagues who literally cannot go a day without their mobile phone, and I've been teased for not having a Facebook account (though more people are dropping them) and with the recent controversy over Twitter it might be just what is needed for a lot of people to reevaluate their connection with all forms of social media.

 

[alonnagirl]

If it was that or suicide? Yes. But if you're considering suicide then I highly doubt your mental state is at a point to think about it that simply anyway. But cyber bullying isn't always to that extreme.

 

[Rabeka82]

Honestly...if they are adults...it's only as hard as they want it to be.
I can see why it'd be harder for a child.
I'm on facebook...about once a month when I remember it exists.

 

[TommieTruthteller]

Do I count as an adult? I'll be honest, stepping away from MAP/facebook would be a pretty big thing for me.