My wife is violent and when we argue a lot she beats me. What can I do?

FaustoO

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Aug 9, 2009
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Hello, this is very sad and tough for me to say. My wife is usually a kind woman, we have been together for 3 years. When I met her she had come out of a bad relationship where his ex boyfriend beat her to the point of hospitalization.
The situation or the arguments can start for literally anything but the really not coming back point arrives when she doesn't handle me telling her things that I don't like about her ways and attitudes she gets stressed starts making incredible dramas completely over the top and bangs her head on walls, threatens me to kill herself, calls ambulances and the police, throws things to me or destroy them like my Mac Book which was my work tool or most of the mobile phones that i have or the wall or my clothes or anything; and I usually get really scared and try to calm her down and say I am sorry even when many times I don't even know of what. I am certainly not saint or a martyr, I have a strong character and sometimes i get so frustrated and desperate that end up screaming and by nature move a lot my hands (for happiness, sadness or anger) but the problem is that she never stops arguing and I always fall in the game of the fight, even if i try to avoid it to the extreme, by ignoring her or by using soft voice, by changing subject or by confronting her the problem is that once she is into that state, there is almost nothing that can stop her. i love her very much and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. She claims that i make her really unhappy and tells her parents that i treat her bad because I don't do things of the house but I do as much as time lets me because I have been a full time student and also work most of the time; her father has even get to the point of coming to my house screaming to me telling me that i treat bad and when i told him that she is violent and that beats me often he told me that he knew and that then i shouldn't provoke her so she always thinks that she is the abused one of this story. I suggested many times psychological treatment but she always refuses it or gets offended and then we go into that again. We are a young couple and we have a baby of almost 2 years and the problem is that he has been caught in the middle of this and accidentally punched as well but more than that the psychological pressure and trauma of the situation is what worries me the most. I think this is a pathology possibly originated by what happened with her ex. But this is not my fault.
We have been going through very difficult financial problems most of the time since we got married and i think that this has provoked this as well because is a very exhausting situation, I am the one that has been supporting the family since day one with the aid of my family business in Mexico that just collapsed and other projects (I am mexican she is french, met in London, live in London). She has punched me to the point of falling unconscious and many other less dramatic cases but nonetheless very painful and every time she justifies herself saying that I was attacking her or that I earned it by provocation. I don't know what to do, I don't want her to leave and take my Luca away, I just want her to get better; when she is alright she is lovely and very beautiful.
 
you could continue to cower in the corner like a little girl or you could contact the authorities so that this can be dealt with properly.
 
You need to check her in to a facility to get help.I was in an abusive situation in a previous marriage but never went and beat anyone.Being abused is not an excuse to turn in to the abuser.
 
I think you should either divorce her or tell her that she needs to go to a psychologist. It is not fair to your child to live in a household like that.
 
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