LionsAreTerrible
New member
- Nov 21, 2008
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I know this is a little long but I don't know where to turn to. I'm basically spelling out my life for you so you can either have a good laugh or maybe give me some advice? I just turned 26 and I am at a turning point in my life. I had a good job that I hated (wasn't challenging enough) as a Software Engineer for 4 years that I left last July in order to pursue my PhD in Biomedical Engineering. I was informed recently by my professor that I would have to pay my way the first year through financial aid then he'd fund me from there on out. Well now it turns out he doesn't have the money and I am not about to go into $100k debt for my PhD.
I then considered medical school. I have volunteered for years at a hospital and have a great GPA, almost all the prereqs done and have registered to take the MCAT this May and could start applying in June. However, after reading about the ridiculous hours of residency and the amount of loans/debt that is required on top of the current $60K of financial aid debt I'd be entering med school with, I wouldn't be done until my mid 30s with a ridiculous sum of money to pay off. I know everyone says don't enter medicine for the money, but is it too much to ask for a middle class lifestyle when you get out considering the torture of residency for 4 years while your debt accumulates with interest (could mount as high as 300K ore more when I'm done)? I would like to one day have a wife and kids, but if I can't live above poverty until 45 how can that be feasible?
Now I question if I should go back into Industry as an Engineer. Even if it isn't as challenging as I desire at least it pays the bills and allows for a social life that could lead to having a family. But I look back and remember how miserable I was then day to day. Plus I don't even know if I could find another job in the current state of the economy.
I can't seem to keep a girlfriend and according to them its for no real reason. I was even told by the girl I dated the longest 2 years ago (dated for 9 months) that I was the best guy that she has ever dated, funny, respectful, whatever... but she just can't be with me anymore. The last girl I dated decided to go back to the ex-boyfriend who beat her ass (and still does from what I hear) rather than me. I know that "nice guys" finish last and that I should treat girls like crap because for some sadistic way they like that (hell I have concrete evidence from my roommates and my ex-friends). But I have to be able to look myself in the mirror and I refuse to manipulate someone into liking me.
I just feel as if there is something missing in my life. I volunteer twice a week (once at a children's hospital, once at the ER), used to volunteer at a hospice. I tried getting a puppy, she's a rescue dog and sometimes I feel she is the only thing I really care to live for (no I'm not suicidal but she is the only thing right now that puts a smile on my face). I had a large group of friends but I have parted ways with almost all of them due to differences in morals (a mutual friend beat his girlfriend horribly and I vowed to never speak to him or anyone else that would remain friends with him, they chose to turn the other way and went on as if nothing happened I decided to stand up for what I believe in even if I'm the last one standing).
I guess long story short, I am unhappy with my current place in life, felt this way for a few years, I've tried many drastic life changing ideas to change my situation for the better (leave job for school, adopt a dog, volunteer, etc...) but still feel completely empty. I'm smart, but hate everything I try doing. I'm a "great guy" but not worth dating. I'm always considered very friendly and outgoing, but have few remaining friends. Any ideas? Or just accept that my life sucks and "man up" and quit b*tching about it?
Thanks for opinions.
I then considered medical school. I have volunteered for years at a hospital and have a great GPA, almost all the prereqs done and have registered to take the MCAT this May and could start applying in June. However, after reading about the ridiculous hours of residency and the amount of loans/debt that is required on top of the current $60K of financial aid debt I'd be entering med school with, I wouldn't be done until my mid 30s with a ridiculous sum of money to pay off. I know everyone says don't enter medicine for the money, but is it too much to ask for a middle class lifestyle when you get out considering the torture of residency for 4 years while your debt accumulates with interest (could mount as high as 300K ore more when I'm done)? I would like to one day have a wife and kids, but if I can't live above poverty until 45 how can that be feasible?
Now I question if I should go back into Industry as an Engineer. Even if it isn't as challenging as I desire at least it pays the bills and allows for a social life that could lead to having a family. But I look back and remember how miserable I was then day to day. Plus I don't even know if I could find another job in the current state of the economy.
I can't seem to keep a girlfriend and according to them its for no real reason. I was even told by the girl I dated the longest 2 years ago (dated for 9 months) that I was the best guy that she has ever dated, funny, respectful, whatever... but she just can't be with me anymore. The last girl I dated decided to go back to the ex-boyfriend who beat her ass (and still does from what I hear) rather than me. I know that "nice guys" finish last and that I should treat girls like crap because for some sadistic way they like that (hell I have concrete evidence from my roommates and my ex-friends). But I have to be able to look myself in the mirror and I refuse to manipulate someone into liking me.
I just feel as if there is something missing in my life. I volunteer twice a week (once at a children's hospital, once at the ER), used to volunteer at a hospice. I tried getting a puppy, she's a rescue dog and sometimes I feel she is the only thing I really care to live for (no I'm not suicidal but she is the only thing right now that puts a smile on my face). I had a large group of friends but I have parted ways with almost all of them due to differences in morals (a mutual friend beat his girlfriend horribly and I vowed to never speak to him or anyone else that would remain friends with him, they chose to turn the other way and went on as if nothing happened I decided to stand up for what I believe in even if I'm the last one standing).
I guess long story short, I am unhappy with my current place in life, felt this way for a few years, I've tried many drastic life changing ideas to change my situation for the better (leave job for school, adopt a dog, volunteer, etc...) but still feel completely empty. I'm smart, but hate everything I try doing. I'm a "great guy" but not worth dating. I'm always considered very friendly and outgoing, but have few remaining friends. Any ideas? Or just accept that my life sucks and "man up" and quit b*tching about it?
Thanks for opinions.