My head is in bits. Do i disown my family?

[tinkerbell]

I have posted on here before about my parents making my life miserable and unfortunately it's got alot worse.... I have been with my fiance for 3 years and my parents have bever supported my relationship (or my past relationship) about 18 months ago my fiance and i split up for a week and my mum was jumping for joy as it meant she 'got me back' and i was heartbroken. For the past 4 months, they have made our wedding plans nothing but hell, dictating what i should and shouldnt have. They were contributing to the wedding costs but i have since told them I dont want their help as its something they would throw in my face for the rest of my life.. Bare in mind my partner has NEVER done anything to offend them, he doesnt take drugs, get into fights or anything illegal. He is one of the nicest people i know and he would do anything for anyone decent.

Thats just the background of my problems.......... On Saturday night i threw my fiance a surprise birthday party at our house with 30 of our friends and family. I had been planning it for weeks and he was so overwhelmed. He had a fantastic time, until my mum started giving him a hard time.......my friends gave me the heads up that my mum may end up causing trouble.....so i listened in and she was asking him what his problems were with them blah blah blah. Neil was very calm and didnt rise to the bait. I told my mum to stop it and save it for another day and please not to ruin the night. She and my sister then went on a mission to slag me and my fiance off to as many guests as they could!! My dad asked me what the problem was and i asked him very nicely to take my mum home......he then got very irrate and said if i talk down to him it will be the last thing i do..... I replied that I'm a big girl now and I put up with his violence all throughout my childhood and i wont stand for it in my own house.
I walked away from him and 5 mins later my sister came storming over and pinned me against the wall by my throat....whilst my dad gave me abuse.
My fiance was stood outside and saw what was happening and he came in and pushed both my sister and my dad away from me. They both ended up fallen over (drink didnt help!!) and then a huge riot broke out!!!!

3 of my girl friends were surrounding me stopping my sister from kicking my head in. She was acting possessed!! and it was awful. She slapped 3 of my friends and her own partner (as he was trying to calm her down) It took about 10 mins for my fiance and his friends to get them out the house and even then they were throwing abuse at the house saying we can both rot in hell, my dad called me a little slag....charming hey. And that neil's a d'head for causing it all......

Yesterday i received abusive texts from my sister saying i can burn in hell and my fiance started it. She's 28 years old and acting like a teenager! She said that she didnt pin me up against the wall and that her and dad were chatting nicely to one another when my fiance suddenly came 'bursting in and charged at them'...........so thats obviously her alibi now...........cant believe shes lying. All our friends saw what happened and have all said that my fiance acted out of defence for me and they would have done the same thing.

I am now in a dillemma......if they can ruin a birthday party infront of all the people we care about as a couple........what will our wedding day be like??? A psychic once told me that my dad would try ruin my wedding day and picked up on that he was an abusive alcoholic. I dont normally believe in things like that, but she certainly got my dad right!

Any advice would be grateful.

Many Thanks xxx
Many thanks for your kind comment. I would love to move away, my fiance is being made redundant and i have asked him to consider finding a job elsewhere....I am so thankful to have him in my life. He treats me like a princess and i've never had that from anyone.
PIRATE_PRINCESS - You could be a good samaritan and my parents would still pick fault with them. And I am in my 20's I am not a young teenager who doesnt know whats right and whats wrong......
My dad has broke my mums hand, slapped her about and me and my sister..............and your saying i'm making him out to be nastier than he is.......what more do you want me to say. My dad's family have disowned him....
MY DADS FAMILY HAVE DISOWNED HIM TOO MAY I ADD.......GENERATIONS REPEATING ??

 

[happycath]

Goodness me sounds like you're in a pickle there!
I'm so sorry ( it must be really hard to have such an...aggressive family.
The good thing is that your fiance has stuck by you through all the trouble and I think you should focus your attention on him from now on. I'm sure he will continue to support you and stick by you.
Try not contacting your family, let them stew for a bit and see what happens. Continue to arrange your wedding without their help, they may just get the hint.
Moving away could be a good idea, but you need to really think hard whether you're prepared to cut your family out of your life for good.
Without knowing you or family, it is hard to judge the best action to take, but you could always try sitting down altogether (and all sober) and talking.
People don't talk enough any more! My family are having problems at the moment too, all because people haven't got things out in the open, just swept it all under the carpet for 50+ years.
Good luck, I wish you every happiness xxx

 

[MiZzRuBy]

i think you should not have them at your wedding... sad as it is but they act like complete d/heads!
get on with your life.. leave them behind!

 

[pirate_princess]

I wonder how they would tell the story, I very much doubt your partner is the saint you make him out to be, nor your family the devils you portray.

Your parents know you best, they want what is best for you and it sounds to me like you are just to stubborn to listen.

It sounds like they have tried to tell you what they can see, tried again and as a last resort tried to speak with him. Then when that didn't work tried to speak to your friends to see if they could help.

Of course, being so young you only see this as poking their nose in your business and of course at that age we all know better than our ancient parents, right?

Try listening to them, what harm will that do, by listening you are showing that you can act mature. then what you do after you have taken their concerns on board is your (informed) choice, but just putting blinkers on and refusing to listen, no wonder they have concerns.

Edit: If you have no time nor any respect for them then move away, it doesn't sound like you have much to leave behind. You may as well be broke in one city or town as another.