Probably something along the lines of:
"Dear Me at sixteen:
- I don't care HOW hot she is, in three years when you meet a certain girl (who I won't name here); RUN!
- I'm serious, it only leads to trouble. And stay away from her sister too
- Don't play with explosives. Again, it only leads to trouble
- Really. Don't
- You're fine the way you are, you don't need to lose weight, if anything, you need to gain it. Trust me, you'll go through an awful lot of crap with it then kick yourself when you're 25 and want to get up to welterweight. Also: BBQ Pringles and beer is a great combo, don't cheat yourself out of it
- Forget the black belt, quit karate now. There's a muay thai place up the road, start training there. You'll love it, trust me
- Farting never stops being funny
- Ignore what she says - use that condom. Pregnancy scares are not fun
- Learn to drive
- Try and get as much work experience as you can. It'll help in the long run
- Also: in a few years time, that internet thing's going to be big business. Go and buy a modem now; I know you can't afford it really, but Dad's a soft touch with the wallet if you say it's for college. Now, nick his credit card and buy a domain called www.fox.com There's money in that
- Other than that, I took the long way round to things, but all in all, it works out ok, more or less. Just remember that it gets better
- Forget University and stuff like that - it's a good laugh but you're better off learning a trade. Get educated, but don't just trundle off to Uni 'cos that's what everyone else expects.
- Don't listen to teachers that harp on about "school records" - they never see the light of day and employers certainly never ask for them so chill.
- The above applies to employment references too - it's actually pretty hard these days for employers to give bad references, so if you wanna tell your boss where to go when you leave, go straight ahead!
- Don't work too hard to get yourself a "career" - eventually you'll decide that you hate what you're doing, rue all the time you've wasted doing boring and expensive qualifications and want to do something else anyway.
- Ignore the so called "in crowd" at school. In ten years time you'll see them wandering around your home town looking like the drop-out chav losers they always were. Go ahead, feel smug.
I know that you really want a motorbike and that you think that your plan of buying one behind your parents back is a really cool thing to do, but consider this.
You'll get your bike and you'll pass your test. By the time your twenty you'll have a big 900cc machine and you'll have ridden at over 150mph on public roads. Believe me, that is going to feel SOOO cool.
Then two weeks later a car is going to pull out on you and you are going to be smashed to bits. You'll lose your job and spend three years getting fit again and you will have chronic back pain for the rest of your life. You'll have been through more painful and degrading medical experiences than you believed you could cope with and just when you thought you were sorted you will suffer a massive breakdown caused by post-traumatic stress.
On the positive side, you'll get a house out of the compensation and avoid the mortgage trap, you'll end up with a good degree and you won't spend the rest of your life on the production line soldering wires in video recorders for £110 per week. You will also learn loads about yourself, your limits, human nature and will develop a strong sense of compassion due to your time on the trauma ward meeting all sorts of unfortunate people who have had bad accidents just like yourself.
I'm not telling you what to do because all I can do is tell you is how it turned out for me. All I will say is that our parents were right, motorcycles are bloody dangerous and it hurts like hell when it all goes wrong. But then, you will make your own decision and I suspect you're still off to buy that bike.
Just had to drop you a line to warn you though, wouldn't be fair not to let you know what happens when it all goes wrong.
One final point, whatever you decide to do, make sure you enjoy life as much as I have. Its a crazy trip, but just dive in head first and experience as much as you can while you can. And by the way, don't get stressed about getting older, I don't know what all the fuss is about, I think I'm having more fun now than I ever did!!
university was overrated. You'll love your course but tolerate the rest - do japanese as soon as possible. science is fun but you're good at languages and this one is fun! (BTW when it startes getting to much don't wait to go to the doc ) Oh and don't share a house with S in 2nd year you'll learn to despise her very existance
stop hurting about your ex, Ditch the blue haired guy hes a loser and the next one round the corner is a keeper
don't pick up that cigerette.
there thats all the advice i have accumulated in 6 yrs.. oh avoid Ebay it'll be too tempting to resist! you will need that money for better things (allegedly if i find them i'll drop you another line )
Dear me:
-In half a year you'll leave for America. Say your final good byes, no matter what your parents said, you're not coming back in a year. They lied.
-Take your favorite Alf toy with you, you'll never see it again otherwise.
-Swing on the swing before you go and take lots of pictures of your old friends. Write down their addresses and phone numbers...you won't remember the info once you get here.
-Tell him that you like him as soon as possible. He really does like you too.Tell him and see what happans, other wise you will always wonder about him. And he turns out to be quite a hottie.
-In 7 years something horrible will happen to you. You will try to kill yourself. Know only that it will be the worst and in result the best thing to happen to you. You will learn to laugh and be happy and be a stronger person.
----as part of that, make sure to that your senior year in highschool you present the exit project and tell everyone your story...it will be the best thing. You will be free.
-Make time for boys.
-MAke sure...oh wait you already broke your tooth lol ooops too late.
-Start Tae kwon do right away...get a head start and learn the split wile you can.
-Laugh. And don't think it's stupid that you find so many things hilerious....those are your greater moments.
-Be nicer to your parents, they ARE crazy but in the end you kinda understand and love them. So start off now.
-In high school start talking to the crazy group of writers as soon as possible...they will become your closest friends.
-Don't drink too much coffee.
-Your best friend in highschool will become distant and will make a new bestfriend...don't blame her and don't take it too personal.
-Don't procrastinate...it will make your later life harder.
-Everything turns out fine...so far
Oh and...cut your hair. Trust me you'll regret waiting so long to cut it short
-when you get older do not get a job at the local grocery store it is teh sucks!
-oh and do your school work and homework or else you'll be held back senior year of higshschool
-Instead of karate take hapkido or tae kwon do, and dammit don't quit!
- never get two birds.
- don't ever throw out your cute little stuffed animal out the car window
- I don't care HOW hot she is, in 1 year when you meet a certain girl (who I won't name here); RUN! (Im stealing this Sever, cos I mean it too)
- Get your motorbike sooner, forget what your parents say, join the army, get your bike, if it kills you, at least you'll die happy.
- Dont get married. Its simpler being single, and you can have more girls too
- Start you MA training NOW. you will get into trouble soon, and not know how to defend yourself, which will cause you a lot of physcological difficulties later.
- Anyone who mouths off cos your a cutter doesnt know Squat! Ignore them, and do it if it helps.
- Learn a computer language asap, start to code early, there is good money in it as a sideline to the army.
- Take flying lessons.
- When you pass your driving test, you are NOT transformed into Colin McRae, so dont drive like him! Trust Me!
1) Don't worry that you're not one of the "popular" kids. The whole "popularity" thing has no importance beyond high school, and once you get to uni, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
2) Teachers aren't always right. When a teacher is truly nasty to you or really does treat you unfairly, stand up for yourself, and insist on justice.
3) Nothing ever goes on your "permanent record". There is no such thing.
4) Don't spend every minute of your after-school time on homework. Think about whether you really want to be entirely in honors classes. The kids with "B" averages in the regular classes will end up just as well-off in life as you will.
5) Be yourself. Dressing and looking like a clone of everyone else is not the way to establish your individuality.
6) Don't choose a uni major/career field because it's what your parents would like you to do. You have to live your life, not them.
7) Don't let yourself gain those first few extra pounds -- the minute the scale shows one or two pounds too many, hit the gym!
8) Don't quit piano lessons -- instead, insist that your parents find the right kind of teacher for you.
9) Kids who peak in high school will probably burn out early. Be glad you're not one of them.
10) Start martial arts now -- starting won't be any easier when you're my age!
11) Don't listen to those teachers who tell you that you can't write -- long after they are retired, you will be partially earning your living with your words.
12) Above all, pay no attention to the people who tell you that you are tone deaf. Not only are you NOT tone deaf, but you sing quite well, and performing music will be a source of life-long joy for you.
-Congratulations on that kenpo black belt, but your club's about to implode.
-Work on that flexibility, it could be better.
-Think long and hard about college, and for the love of God don't do maths in college...and don't change your CAO form 3 days before the deadline!
-I know school sucks, but it's nearly over. Chin up.
-Taking your driver theory test as soon as you're 17 might be a good idea...(I'm nearly 21 now and I still haven't done it!)
-Tracksuit bottoms suit nobody. Really.
-You don't suck at languages as much as you think.