Is this a good introduction for my ADHD paper?

[bella101]

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a developmental, neurobiological condition that is typically diagnosed in children but can also affect adolescents. The American Academy of Pediatrics define the main symptoms of ADHD as inattentiveness, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. In other words, children with ADHD experience problems with self-regulation, impulse control, activity level, executive functioning, and attention span. It is believed that 3-7% of school-aged children suffer from ADHD, however, due to problems with diagnosing the disorder, this number is not exact and is considered to be low by some experts. Despite what is often debated, ADHD is in fact a brain disorder and a life long condition, in which the effects often interfere with academic performance and the classroom setting (Hardman, Drew, & Egan, 2011).

Please let me know if there is anything I should add or change, etc. I would really like to earn an A.

Thank you!

 

[PsyK1]

I'm not really sure what level of schooling you are at, but this doesn't like too bad of an intro.

"typically diagnosed in children but can also affect adolescents."
Be aware of the difference between DIAGNOSING (being told, clinically, that a person has ADHD) and AFFECTING (or symptoms presenting). ADHD can be DIAGNOSED at any age, but often PRESENTS during early childhood and is most often associated with noticeable difficulties in academics during the adolescent years. (For that matter, adults can have ADHD too, but it often is "grown out of" by adulthood).

"children with ADHD experience problems with..."
I would avoid saying "PROBLEMS WITH", as it does not specify directionality. You say they have a problem with attention span, does this mean that they focus too much and that is a deficit, or they can't focus at all? ( I know it is obviously that they can't focus, but you see my point). Instead, say something like, "children with ADHD experience DEFICITS in..." and be sure to make all your statements in the positive.

Good intro. I'd be surprised if you don't get an A.