I'm in love with my ex. He's in love with me. We don't have a future. What to do?

[PureFluff]

'Kay, so. Me and my ex dated for two years and eventually broke it off Dec. 2007 after it became long distance (I lived with my mom and he lived with his dad). We couldn't handle the long distance thing and it was a mutual decision to break it off.

Now we live in the same apartment building and since November have been together all the time. We're sexually active together and still both have feelings for each other, we say 'I love you' often and it's like we're dating. But we're not. We have no future together.

He's aspiring to become a rapper, while I go to college to become an animator. If his dreams are fulfilled, he will of course be on the road eventually and therefore long distance. No real reason to date if it's gonna be another break up eventually.

What would you do if you somehow, magically, ended up in this situation? I know it's a weird one, but how would you deal emotionally with loving someone who loves you but having no future with them?

 

[MelissaB]

I was in the EXACT same situation as you. My boyfriend broke up with me in Dec07, but after that we started having sex everyday again, sleeping together, hanging out every waking moment, always said "I love you" etc... It was like we were in a relationship but it was never "offical" by facebook standards or whatever. We had a mutual understanding that we wouldn't see anyone else because we're both EXTREMELY jealous types of people.. then one day out of the blue 6 months later he was like "I finally have the balls to love you the way you deserve to be loved". Then it was official again and has been ever since.

Will it end one day? Yes. Everything ends. Will we eventually fall out of love? Yes. But we will always love eachother as best friends. If your attitude is "I have no future with him, what's the point?" ... youre just going to be miserable. Trust me. Live for today and enjoy what you have now. Because once you're not together anymore you'll probably regret having this attitude now, which is preventing you from enjoying life as much as you can.

 

[KaraN1]

Laptops are awesome things and becoming more powerful all the time. Are you sure you couldn't go on the road with him?

If you're sure that you have no future with this guy, why not enjoy it while it lasts? Make a deal. You eat drink and be merry while you share a complex and when someone moves out, your done. No hard feelings. Many happy memories.

Best of luck.

 

[Whisperer]

can't call it love if you don't believe in it.

If you are so great, why let it "magically" break. Don't fear the future. Fear is what opposes the heart. For now, just enjoy each others' presence and comfort. Time will decide if you two should be together or not. (even though u shouldn't let anything decide it)

if dat's not logical enough, the plainest smart answer is to meet up again if he's ever famous. He'll take you in and etc. etc. etc.

Win-Win situation from the way i see it o_0

 

[Lia]

dear ms. glass half empty,

just love the man. part of being in love is being vulnerable.

unless you really dont love him and are just used to him because he is accessible.

which doesnt sound like the case.

so just love each other and live your experience, be it a week, a month, years or a lifetime.

yours truly,

thoughts youve already had.

 

[Lia]

dear ms. glass half empty,

just love the man. part of being in love is being vulnerable.

unless you really dont love him and are just used to him because he is accessible.

which doesnt sound like the case.

so just love each other and live your experience, be it a week, a month, years or a lifetime.

yours truly,

thoughts youve already had.

 

[Connor]

Well, you do have a future with him if you want to. My friend is dating a member of a band. He is on tour 6 months out of every year. They make it work. Think positively, it sounds like you two share something special. Fight to make it work.