TrentonButler
New member
- May 22, 2011
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Hi, today is my 14th birthday. And a few months ago, I decided to renounce my disbelief in God. I have a pretty long backstory to explain and I apologize for the length of the introduction and I'm very very stressed about all this and I want you to get a good idea of the situation
My parents (actually my whole family) are fundamentalist Christians and very devout. I went to Sunday school and everything.
About 1.5 years ago, I decided that God was not real, just something human civilizations had invented to help them cope with how little they understood about the reality of life.
I've always been considered a smart kid. I'm a good talker and I seem to have an affinity for memorizing vast amounts of information in school. I'm a grade ahead of my age level and my science projects have won #1 2 years in a row.
I'm also a pretty popular boy. So my school life is going pretty well, but that's not the problem. The problem is at home.
When I was younger, at family get togethers, they called me 'the investigator' because I acted like a detective when something went wrong. I wanted to figure everything out. This sort of behaviour carried itself into my teenage years.
A few years ago, I tried to explain to my parents over and over why I didn't think their version of God made any sense. They were furious. Over the next few months they tried to coax me into believing in God. They made me do more bible study and took away some books I was reading on Western philosophy and psychology (Freud and Sartre), since they seemed to be the source of my newfound idealism. I just downloaded the PDF version from the internet though.
About half a year ago, my dad and I got into an argument at supper and he told me he was embarrassed to call me his son. I never brought up my atheism again in front of them. I tried very hard in school and got straight A's with no exception.
About three months ago my family had a sort of intervention after my older cousin's wedding. We all sat down and discussed my situation. I didn't know how to handle everything that was being said, but basically it was explained that I need to believe in God. That I need to have faith and that Jesus' love for me knows no bounds. That He will help me through this and understand the world in my own way. That if I want to live a fulfilled life, this is the only way. Everyone at the event told me they loved me and that they'd help, except my dad. He was silent.
I cried at my intervention and it affected me deeply and I've decided to take the word of Christ very seriously. I've read the bible twice since then, old and new, front to back and I'm having a lot of trouble.
I'm going to Chruch every week (actually, I just got back from there) and trying to talk to the reverend about my issues. Whenever I ask my mom for help understanding, she can't answer my questions and tells me to pray for understanding. I do this.
My science teacher (who has now become my physics class teacher, since science is split into more subjects now) at school has noticed my lack of enthusiasm. I was sort of like his favourite student and he always defended me when I messed up or did something mischevious in school. I don't tell him anything. He seems very dissapointed in me.
Most of all, I want to have the bond with my dad that I once had. I don't like being rejected by my own family. They're starting to believe that I've embraced Jesus, but the truth is I'm pretending still.
I'm living a lie and I need help figuring out what to do and how to go about this.
I don't understand simple Bible stories. I mean like, if Adam and Eve had three sons, Cain, Abel, Seth, where did they get their wives from?? My Reverend told me that there was another civilization somewhere, but this makes no sense?? I thought Adam and Eve were the first people?
I asked my parents this question last week and they sent me to my room to pray.
I am GENUINELY trying to give myself to God. Nothing is more important to me than fitting in with my family. This is not affecting me in a good way.
PLEASE HELP.
(sorry, I know that was very long, I didn't mean to write an essay)
My parents (actually my whole family) are fundamentalist Christians and very devout. I went to Sunday school and everything.
About 1.5 years ago, I decided that God was not real, just something human civilizations had invented to help them cope with how little they understood about the reality of life.
I've always been considered a smart kid. I'm a good talker and I seem to have an affinity for memorizing vast amounts of information in school. I'm a grade ahead of my age level and my science projects have won #1 2 years in a row.
I'm also a pretty popular boy. So my school life is going pretty well, but that's not the problem. The problem is at home.
When I was younger, at family get togethers, they called me 'the investigator' because I acted like a detective when something went wrong. I wanted to figure everything out. This sort of behaviour carried itself into my teenage years.
A few years ago, I tried to explain to my parents over and over why I didn't think their version of God made any sense. They were furious. Over the next few months they tried to coax me into believing in God. They made me do more bible study and took away some books I was reading on Western philosophy and psychology (Freud and Sartre), since they seemed to be the source of my newfound idealism. I just downloaded the PDF version from the internet though.
About half a year ago, my dad and I got into an argument at supper and he told me he was embarrassed to call me his son. I never brought up my atheism again in front of them. I tried very hard in school and got straight A's with no exception.
About three months ago my family had a sort of intervention after my older cousin's wedding. We all sat down and discussed my situation. I didn't know how to handle everything that was being said, but basically it was explained that I need to believe in God. That I need to have faith and that Jesus' love for me knows no bounds. That He will help me through this and understand the world in my own way. That if I want to live a fulfilled life, this is the only way. Everyone at the event told me they loved me and that they'd help, except my dad. He was silent.
I cried at my intervention and it affected me deeply and I've decided to take the word of Christ very seriously. I've read the bible twice since then, old and new, front to back and I'm having a lot of trouble.
I'm going to Chruch every week (actually, I just got back from there) and trying to talk to the reverend about my issues. Whenever I ask my mom for help understanding, she can't answer my questions and tells me to pray for understanding. I do this.
My science teacher (who has now become my physics class teacher, since science is split into more subjects now) at school has noticed my lack of enthusiasm. I was sort of like his favourite student and he always defended me when I messed up or did something mischevious in school. I don't tell him anything. He seems very dissapointed in me.
Most of all, I want to have the bond with my dad that I once had. I don't like being rejected by my own family. They're starting to believe that I've embraced Jesus, but the truth is I'm pretending still.
I'm living a lie and I need help figuring out what to do and how to go about this.
I don't understand simple Bible stories. I mean like, if Adam and Eve had three sons, Cain, Abel, Seth, where did they get their wives from?? My Reverend told me that there was another civilization somewhere, but this makes no sense?? I thought Adam and Eve were the first people?
I asked my parents this question last week and they sent me to my room to pray.
I am GENUINELY trying to give myself to God. Nothing is more important to me than fitting in with my family. This is not affecting me in a good way.
PLEASE HELP.
(sorry, I know that was very long, I didn't mean to write an essay)