...what should I do? Okay this is a repost due to lame, unhelpful answers. I'm a 20 year old guy. My life really sucks, especially my love life. First of all, I'm in a "relationship" with a girl named Ashley. We're kind of using each other. Ashley is the ONLY person I've ever told that I was gay and I use her as a cover up. I love Ashley in a non-romantic way and I care about her but to be totally honest, she's very "easy" and she lets so many guys use her for sex, like she has NO self-esteem whatsoever. Ashley clings to me because I'm the only man that doesn't treat her like a hoe and we don't even have sex. Actually, we only had sex twice(I didn't like it) and we've been together for three years. We only make out around our family and friends to hide my gayness.
I used to be deeply in love with Ashley's brother(my straight best friend). He didn't talk to me for five months because I tried to kiss him and touch him "down there". But he forgave me and now we're friends again, but I can tell he doesn't trust me the same. By the way, Ashley always knew I liked her brother but I'm over him now.
Last night, I got dumped by somebody I really fell in love with. But I brought it upon myself. In addition to my fake relationship with Ashley, I started dating this 17 year old girl named Jade for like four months. Jade is actually a trannie who hasn't started treatment or surgery yet. So, she still has all the male parts even though she dresses like a woman. She dropped out of high school due to bullying and life is really hard for her. So we fell in love because we spent time together and supported each other. But then Jade started figuring things out. She heard from someone else that I have a girlfriend and she got pissed. But I told her that Ashley and I aren't REALLY together(which is the truth). So Jade left that alone but then she started figuring other things out based on the way we have sex. Last night, she confronted me and she was crying because she wanted me to just admit to her that I see her as a guy and that I'm gay. I denied it but she didn't believe me so she dumped me. I spent the rest of last night crying and thinking of suicide. I hate my life. I hate being gay. It's bringing me nothing but pain. I really LIKED Jade. Why can't she just accept that she was born a guy? Is there any way I can get Jade back? If not, how do I stop being gay?
I used to be deeply in love with Ashley's brother(my straight best friend). He didn't talk to me for five months because I tried to kiss him and touch him "down there". But he forgave me and now we're friends again, but I can tell he doesn't trust me the same. By the way, Ashley always knew I liked her brother but I'm over him now.
Last night, I got dumped by somebody I really fell in love with. But I brought it upon myself. In addition to my fake relationship with Ashley, I started dating this 17 year old girl named Jade for like four months. Jade is actually a trannie who hasn't started treatment or surgery yet. So, she still has all the male parts even though she dresses like a woman. She dropped out of high school due to bullying and life is really hard for her. So we fell in love because we spent time together and supported each other. But then Jade started figuring things out. She heard from someone else that I have a girlfriend and she got pissed. But I told her that Ashley and I aren't REALLY together(which is the truth). So Jade left that alone but then she started figuring other things out based on the way we have sex. Last night, she confronted me and she was crying because she wanted me to just admit to her that I see her as a guy and that I'm gay. I denied it but she didn't believe me so she dumped me. I spent the rest of last night crying and thinking of suicide. I hate my life. I hate being gay. It's bringing me nothing but pain. I really LIKED Jade. Why can't she just accept that she was born a guy? Is there any way I can get Jade back? If not, how do I stop being gay?
and im sorry.