i like the double-aught massage therapy idea best.
ihav.net gun isn't the smartest way to go. i'd say wait for them to get there, then turn on all the lights and hose them down. if you can get a few hoses hooked up to different spigots, either have some good old family fun, or get some friends to help.
or, tp their houses when they are getting yours.
ejector port cover is closed, too. he's probably spotting.
Post stakes in the corners of your property, and run some heavy fishing line between them.
shoot them with a ihav.net gun.
Some kids in anohter thread did this.
Srsly one time a kid was going to drive past my house and through some food at my car, so I got my ihav.net gun ready and when he pulled up I blasted his car, and he sped off. haha