*Dealing with a MAMA'S BOY?? what to say to him when he WHINES-- Advice please.*?

[LADY~S]

I'm 23 my boyfriend is 26. My boyfriend pretty much exhibits every characteristic of being a mommas boy. He was raised in a single parent home and almost everything about him screams that his mom made him into a "*****" I really hate yo say it but his mom really did.
Ahh. I definitely know I'm not perfect but there's only so much of this I can take -- I almost feel like his mother at times.
We both still live at home.. (im finishing up school, he works full time)

His grandmother and his mother pretty much do everything. He doesn't know how to really cook, clean or anything related to that. (AND sadly... he has a younger brother (13) and the way his mother is babying him is sickening... I can only imagine how he will grow up)

I'm trying to look past this and get into him more....
What should I say to him when he begins to whine about certain things.. or complain? sometimes I feel like saying "shut the f*ck up *****" Or "kill me"
and sometimes he'll say things like "I know you like it..." when I OBVIOUSLY do not!...

BUT what could I say that could *hint* to him that he needs to work on this?

for example... one time (last time lol) we were playing his xbox... and the way he acted, I was soo turned off-he was like a big kid... not really wanting to share, help or anything. It was so unattractive to see a grown man like that.
Another time we planned a picnic... and I spent so much time and money on the food and he f*cking complained what a baby he was...
Damn his mother... ew

anyways just some advice. All and all he's a nice guy so I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

also, he hasn't had many relationships... but his group of close friends are a great bunch of guys.. so I know there has to be some great qualities about him!

How do I HINT to him!

 

[sir]

Sorry to break it to you, but it's not his mom's fault, it's his. While her behavior toward him while he was growing up will make it harder for him, it's all on him to be a man.

You won't change him. He'll need to loose a few girlfriends before that will happen. You should tell him though that he's a boy and you need a man when you leave. If you care about him, at least let him know what he needs to do, not that you'll be waiting for it to happen.

 

[DonDraperswoman]

If he is that aggravating, then break up with him. Duh!!!

 

[TomP]

You are not dating his friends or planning to marry them.
Simple math in marriage
86,400 sec in a day
31,536,000 in a year
multiply 20 years = 630,720,000 sec
This is how much time you will be married to a
-he was like a big kid... not really wanting to share, help or anything. It was so unattractive to see a grown man like that.
Another time we planned a picnic... and I spent so much time and money on the food and he f*cking complained what a baby he was...
He needs help not another mother or a wife or girl friend to vent on and seek pity, at 26 he is set in his ways. Programed by mother and grand mother

You can choose your hell or drop him for some one better, you are in a form of abusive relationship and he is using you and you are enabling him just like his mom and grand mother.

 

[ren]

find yourself a new guy. this one and you obviously don't fit. its rough, but its true.

 

[TracyL]

You won't change him so stop trying. He jokes about his behaviour so no doubt his Mum has encouraged this behaviour. His friends don't have to deal with it, because it will always be the woman that he's with that he will act this way with..cuz he thinks it's cute.

Get yourself a man not a baby. You will start to resent this behaviour over time.

 

[Captain]

Tell him you don't think his maturity level is where it should be (BTW, women usually mature quicker then men). You can't call him a mommas boy and not offend him and his mother. Just isn't possible.

Some things you could try is to get him socialized a little more. Suggest he join a dart, bowling, card, or pool league. Get him out of the house to explore more. Go out on couples dates so he can see how others treat their woman.

When he does something very masculine make sure you acknowledge it (such as opening the door for you, if he gives you an extra phone call in the day to say "I love you" and so on). Let him know his efforts are appreciated and the real man in him is what turns you on

 

[MZeRO]

No hinting, keep it real and be honest. Just give it to him straight. Communication is one of the essential keys in a long term successful relationship.

 

[climbinguprocks]

You are very young and life is very long. This relationship will teach you many things.
First you have learned that you are very observant! You have observed behavior you do not like. Make a note of it and decide if it's a deal killer. If it is move on.
Second lesson: You have standards. He is failing early on to meet a basic one and you sense it is important to a healthy relationship and it is!.
You are also self aware and realize you have issues just like everyone does. Being self aware puts you way ahead of other 20 somethings and come to think of it 30 and 40 somethings!
I feel this flaw is insurmountable but that is my opinion. I can see immaturity leading to out of control spending, failing to support YOUR life goals, infidelity and moody time together.
It is ok to sit him down and tell him you feel that he just isn't ready for the kind of relationship that you are and that sometime in the future you two could revisit a serious relationship but not now. That puts him on notice and he can begin the long long march towards man hood.

 

[Kayleigh]

You sound miserable. Let him be with the woman he loves the most- Mommy. This is not going to change - even if you move out.

 

[GreenQueen1]

here's a hint for you, if you don't like it, leave it.
You don't fall in love with people with hopes they'll change, you love them for who they are.