bf got aggressive for first time, seriously frightened me, is this an...

[BabyDoll<31]

...alarm bell to run? i love my bf to bits, but i know he has a temper and a short fuse. today he got angrier than ive ever seen him, and it scared me to bits. i dont know if this is one of those moments where its best to leave before things get even worse, or whether to forgive him coz it was just a moment of heat.

i went over to his today in a great mood after getting a new job offer and buying dinner and wanting to cook for him and have a good day with him in general, but when i got there he seemed distant, but he was busy doing things around the house so i helped him by doing his dishes.
then i turned around and saw him doubled over with his hand over his face so i asked what was wrong and he raised his voice and said 'i just hit my head leave me alone will you,' so i said nothing and continued what i was doing. then he asked me to sit on the bed and see if i could notice anything different and after i said i couldnt he got annoyed and kept asking me the same question and i kept replying that i honestly dont know could he not just tell me. (im not very observant, if someone changed my own mattress i probably wouldnt even realise)
at the time he had a dvd player in his hand, and after i said that he lifted the dvd player up and look genuinely pissed off and said if i was a guy he'd smash my face in with the dvd player. although hes never made a gesture like that before, ive seen him get that pissed off plenty of times.
then he asked me the same question again and terrified i just asked did he get a new mattress or sthn and then he looked even angrier (like, there was a murderous look in his eyes) and shouted and said he'd love to smash it in my face.
now, we've had a rough couple of weeks where both our lucks have been down and we've been at each other, but today i genuinely did nothing wrong, came home in a good mood ready to cook for him, and for some reason he exploded like that. i spoke to two of my girl mates (they live in his block of flats) and they said that was out of order and that i shouldnt put up with that. one of them has been in an abusive relationship before and she said thats how it starts.
after the arguement i went back down to his, and we argued some more because he couldnt understand why i felt so hurt and scared and brought up the arguing over past few weeks as if it was all my fault, and i almost left him but we eventually spoke calmly and after i started crying, he started crying too, and opened up to me about his past like he never has before, and said hes sorry he gets so angry but coz of his crappy past he has genuine anger issues,

i dont know whether to forgive this as a once off heat of the moment gesture, especially considering how upset he got when he understood how he made me feel, and considering he really has had a rough past, or whether to take this as an early sign of an abusive boyfriend and end it,

what do you think? i really love this guy but i dont want to be beaten up either.

 

[Athene]

He's clearly got some kind of condition.

Don't let pity/kindness ruin your life. In blunt terms...dump him.

 

[mrsemike]

Hi Baby Doll,

I'm a big believer in forgiveness so I think you need to forgive him. I also think you need to be very aware and very alert for your own protection. It's normal for couples to fight, but his anger is rather scary.

If he ever does hit you, get out and get out quick.

Please take care of yourself.
Deb

 

[uniQue]

you need to get out of this relationship. it seems like he has issues of his own and you really need to get out. No man should ever say or put there hands on a female. trust me it will get worse if you do not get out sooner.

 

[Alexis]

I dont think u should run just yet give it some time if he does it atleast 1 or 2 more times break up or do something about it

 

[Alexandra]

I think you need to sit him down and provide an ultimaitum. Tell him you love him but unless he goes to get anger management classes and therapy for his past / see his doctor for help then you will have no other choice than to leave, explain that it frightens you and its not acceptable. That your not going to spend your life walking around on egg shells for someone. Tell him that its normal for every couple to argue but that his violent rages are not. If he loves you then he will move heaven and earth to do what you ask. If he doesn't then walk away because his anger is only going to esculate without help. Do this now before its too late x

 

[TheLaughingMan]

You need to get out of that relationship. I promise you it will get worse. I have seen it happen a thousand times. As the relationship progresses he will get more comfortable treating you like this and it will escalate to physical violence. The fact that he said he would love to hurt you when you haven't done anything wrong proves it. Imagine what he will do to you when he feels you really have? I have seen so many girls try to rationalize being treated this way as if it is something that will fix itself. It never does, they end up trapped in abusive relationships for years and some never get out. Don't let that happen to you. Go find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.