Alien/UFO encounter

[jerrrikkkaaaa]

And now you two are friends!

 

[Samg]

Killed a few grunts with a beatdown myself. Video games count as real life don't they?

 

[notquiteabutterfly]

Dude I practice my butthole defenses every day in case I encounter an anal-probe wielding alien.

DEFENSE ONE! BACKS TO THE WALL!!
DEFENSE TWO! THE SQUAT AND GRAB!!
DEFENSE THREE!! THE ALMIGHTY BUTT SCOOT!!!!!

 

[ingramfamily08]

Check out this interesting and ancient training manual if you ever fancy a go on a Klingon Bat'leth.

 

[supergamer15]

Glad I could get comic relief, but people who have been abducted would dispise such blabber.

Like seriously there is no logical reason why the sun will ever rise tomarrow. Science works on probablility or inductive reasoning, not deductive like the ancient greeks.

So If you saw some alien and it approached you seriously a skilled martial artists should just kick it in the face and crush its huge black eyes. At Area 51 they got that stuff. Maybe those hardcore coofftopicndos woop alien butt to get them to reveal what they know, like torture.

Anyway it could so happen, just wondering if an instructor ever came across this somehow.

 

[scottmcice]

I love you and want your babies.

 

[jonasbrotherFREAKt]

I am a alien, ive been sent here to learn human martial arts techniques, i know all your tricks.

Humanity = Owned.

i have 30, 000, 000, 000, 000,000 ,000 trained black belts currently in a training camp in the Degoba System in the Fazal sector of the galaxy Niboyd, they are currently finishing Bas Rutten’s rigorous fitness & conditioning exercises program. Once done, their next stop is Earth. Your days are up....

 

[boggle]

I got offered out by a Klingon once. Truthfully! I'd have kicked his arse (it was some nerd at a scifi convention trying to crack on to my girlfriend. He even challenged me in Klingon before running off)
Also, I grappled with an alien once. It was about six feet long, four feet wide, flat and it was trying to smother me. My friends say I was really drunk and that not only was the quilt not trying to kill me, it didn't tap either, but I know the truth

 

[xBabilDolcex]

I honestly didn't realise the op was being actually serious!

 

[PaintGizmoBlue]

[No message]

 

[DudemDuuuude]

You HAVE to be taking the piss, at least a little bit. No-one can seriously believe this stuff and not have to chew through their restraints to post on the internet.

 

[WeelMan]

And the Thorazine would have to wear off too.

 

[PallavoloGirl]

Get laid, avoid books and take up drinking, and come back in a few years and thank me for putting you on the straight and narrow

Oh and do BJJ

 

[CalinW]

hey, you might have to appear on mortal kombat one of these days

 

[GaryN]

Dude I hate to break it to you but the probability of a real alien abduction story being true is not a nut hair from being zero in fact it's so small we can effectively treat it as zero. This planet may have many issues but I can confidently say that alien abduction isn't one of them.
Now to help you along in life I'll give a good chat up line so you can attempt to lose the virgin status:

"Was your Dad an Alien because your out of this world"

Go for it, guaranteed pulling power that one.

The Bear.

 

[paigeh]

He might get better success with "screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gertrude?"
works on everybody except Gertrude.

 

[NewtfromAliens]

Maybe if your at a pride march or Essex.

The Bear.

 

[sheeru_ksa]

hey!

 

[idontwantyoutoknowwhoiam]

I was killed by an alien once. Thankfully it was not permanent.

regards koyo

 

[tumadre]

I'm telling chris. I mean nobody actually buys he is human.

The Bear.