A friend of mine argued that anarchy and violence go hand in hand?

No. If he means the political movement, that is terribly wrong. Only radical anarchists use violence. Most anarchists are non-violent and do not advocate violence as a mechanism to change the state. In regards to the actual political state of anarchy, it depends. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. It really depends on the community. A community that is dedicated to work together in order to survive will have little violence since such would not be in the self interest of the individuals in that community.
 
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