Dalton[[Hesterfantt]]
New member
- Apr 5, 2008
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What does it mean to be successful? Is there some kind of measure where once you have reached a certain goal, or made a certain amount of money you are defined as a success?
It seems that in our civilization the common marker for success is how much money you have and what ‘things’ you have. We often compare ourselves to wealthy entrepreneurs, celebrities, sports stars. The people that we see in the media on a day to day basis and think “They’ve made it”, and we often aspire to be like these people.
As a result we often want what they have, and 99.9% of the time we don’t get that millionaire lifestyle and we consider ourselves a failure…
And that’s half the problem. We fail because we measure our success based on someone else’s, or we fail to realise what successes we have been because it may not measure up to what someone else has.
I think that success is a very personal thing because each and every one of us. Think back to when you were a kid. What did you dream about being when you grew up? An astronaut maybe; or a pop star?
As we get older our dreams become more and more ‘tame’ and we often settle for what we have, never getting what we really wanted.
The problem is, did you ever really know what it was you wanted in the first place? And is it too late to get that life you’ve dreamed of.
The short answer… No to both!
In many cases we aren’t truly clear about what it is we actually want, so how can we ever go about getting it?
Most people have this belief that it is too late or out of their hands. They are tied down and have too much responsibility. The problem is they look for reasons to fail because change is daunting. But change is absolutely necessary if you are going to achieve any desired result.
Happiness and success pretty much rely on two very simple (almost painfully simple) principles, and they are a) knowing what you want and b) choosing to make it happen. So here is a strategy for you to change your life and really pursue the life of your dreams.
1. The ‘What’
Without knowing exactly what it is you want then you’re never going to have a hope in hell of getting it. Forget for a moment what everyone else wants, or what society tells you what you should want and start thinking about exactly what it is YOU want from life.
What kind of career do you want? Do you want a family? If you have a family what kind of life do you want for them? What type of house do you want to live in? What area do you want to live in? How much money do you want to earn? What activities do you want to do…
Be as detailed as possible and don’t be afraid to think big. Think about the things in life that EXCITE you. Don’t limit yourself at this point or think that your goals or desires are unrealistic, because it’s that kind of thinking that has stopped you from having it in the first place!
2. The ‘Why’
Once you know what it is you want, you have to ask yourself why you want it. The why is the most important part because if you are clear on this, you will draw most of your motivation from it. It’s not the actual ‘thing’ itself that motivates you, it’s the feelings that the thing will bring you.
Focus on how that lifestyle will make you feel. Focus on those feelings of accomplishment and joy that you would get from your achievements. Think about all of the freedom to do the things you enjoy you would have from having that little extra cash.
Think about the confidence and self esteem you would develop through seeing yourself positively change your life. The principle works for any goal, whether it’s about your physical health and fitness, your financial wealth, having a satisfying career it doesn’t matter. The principle is sound across the board.
This principle is really powerful because it’s about how you feel and how you want to feel. As my mentor Dax Moy puts it, it makes you “own the goal”.
It’s your goal for your reasons. The result is what you want, not a result based on someone else’s ideas.
“If you have a strong enough WHY, you will overcome any HOW!”
3. The ‘How’
Ok so here’s the slightly trickier bit. How do you make it happen? Well first of all you need a game plan, but more importantly you need to take action on that plan. It’s the taking action that is the difficult part because it is going to require a lot of effort on your part and that will ultimately mean there will be changes. Although the long term plan is that these changes will be positive and the result you want, you may have to accept that there could be some short term disadvantages.
Obviously it will depend on what your goals are and what you are trying to achieve at the end of it. It may mean you have to take on a course to learn the skills to change your career. It could mean a pay cut in the short term and giving up a few of the luxuries that make life seem more tolerable.
It all comes back to your why and how much is your goal worth to you.
Are you prepared to suffer some short term pain to get the long term gain?
“The insane thing is doing the same thing you’ve always done and expect different results” – roger milliken
4. Reasons or results?
A hard concept for many people to grasp is the idea of taking responsibility. We are often content with the belief that “it wasn’t meant to be”, “or I wasn’t good enough” or one of millions of other reasons we hear day in day out.
But what is it that you want? Do you want a result, or a reason why you don’t have that result?
Our lives are a direct result of the choices that we have made in the past. That also means that our future will be a direct result of the choices we make now. If we choose to make the change and face the challenges it will bring, our life will become very different to how it will be if we decide to stay the same.
At the end of the day it’s your choice. Yes there will be barriers and yes at times it may be hard, but what is more important to you? The Reason, or the Result?
5. Dare to be different!
One of our biggest ‘fears’ in life is being judged by everyone else for being different. Being socially accepted has become a huge part of our society and we seem to have developed some bizarre beliefs that we have to behave in particular ways in order to gain acceptance.
Sometimes it’s good to be different, to separate yourself from the ‘flock’. Sometimes we have to put our ideas out there knowing that there are people willing to shoot them down because the ideal conflicts with theirs.
So what?
So what if someone doesn’t agree with you? What does it matter? Does that person’s opinion directly affect your result? Chances are they won’t.
And what you will find is that for every one person who challenges your beliefs, there will be another who loves your ideas. It’s these like minded people who share your beliefs that you want to be surrounded by, but if you never put your views out there you will never find them!
Don’t let your fear of other’s ideas stop you from pursuing your own, because you will never become successful if you don’t.
There’s a great old saying which I love…
“Only dead fish go with the flow!”
6. Forget the balancing act
If you ever want to get anywhere in life you have to knock the idea of balancing your work and home life on the head, because there is no such thing. If you try too hard to balance everything you’ll often get nothing done and get nowhere.
Think about a See-Saw that has a person on either end of equal weight and size… it won’t move!
It’ll be the same for you, you’ll remain static and never push forward.
You have to learn to prioritise. Work out what your priorities are on any given day or week (whether it is work, personal or family) and commit to making sure it gets done.
Obviously your priorities will change all the time, but if you can prioritise and learn to manage your time, you will become much more productive and push forward. Sometimes something will have to give. If you have a deadline for a project that is important to achieving your goals, then you have to accept the fact you may need to sacrifice some personal time to get it finished.
If your kid has a football match you promised to go to, then maybe work has to take the back seat.
Only you can decide what your priorities are, but once you make that decision each day get it done!
7. Make some ‘me’ time…
Finding time for yourself to do things that you want to enjoy or to develop your ability and education is essential. If you are constantly working your back-side off you will become tired and run down. You’ll lose motivation and give up, meaning all that work you put in was for nothing.
We all have needs and hobbies, so don’t neglect them. You only live once!
8. Live the dream!
Stop thinking about how great the dream ‘could’ be and start to live it. Even if it’s only in small things like changing your routine, doing some volunteer work, starting a new hobby, changing the way you look etc. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it fits in with your goal.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, you can’t always have everything in an instant, but if you start making those conscious changes to your life, you will be that one step closer to your goal and that lifestyle of your dreams.
The only way it is ever going to happen is if you start taking action and living it!
You only get to live once!
Let me know what your thoughts are and how you can apply these principles to your own success, I’d love to hear about it!
Laters!
Kyle
It seems that in our civilization the common marker for success is how much money you have and what ‘things’ you have. We often compare ourselves to wealthy entrepreneurs, celebrities, sports stars. The people that we see in the media on a day to day basis and think “They’ve made it”, and we often aspire to be like these people.
As a result we often want what they have, and 99.9% of the time we don’t get that millionaire lifestyle and we consider ourselves a failure…
And that’s half the problem. We fail because we measure our success based on someone else’s, or we fail to realise what successes we have been because it may not measure up to what someone else has.
I think that success is a very personal thing because each and every one of us. Think back to when you were a kid. What did you dream about being when you grew up? An astronaut maybe; or a pop star?
As we get older our dreams become more and more ‘tame’ and we often settle for what we have, never getting what we really wanted.
The problem is, did you ever really know what it was you wanted in the first place? And is it too late to get that life you’ve dreamed of.
The short answer… No to both!
In many cases we aren’t truly clear about what it is we actually want, so how can we ever go about getting it?
Most people have this belief that it is too late or out of their hands. They are tied down and have too much responsibility. The problem is they look for reasons to fail because change is daunting. But change is absolutely necessary if you are going to achieve any desired result.
Happiness and success pretty much rely on two very simple (almost painfully simple) principles, and they are a) knowing what you want and b) choosing to make it happen. So here is a strategy for you to change your life and really pursue the life of your dreams.
1. The ‘What’
Without knowing exactly what it is you want then you’re never going to have a hope in hell of getting it. Forget for a moment what everyone else wants, or what society tells you what you should want and start thinking about exactly what it is YOU want from life.
What kind of career do you want? Do you want a family? If you have a family what kind of life do you want for them? What type of house do you want to live in? What area do you want to live in? How much money do you want to earn? What activities do you want to do…
Be as detailed as possible and don’t be afraid to think big. Think about the things in life that EXCITE you. Don’t limit yourself at this point or think that your goals or desires are unrealistic, because it’s that kind of thinking that has stopped you from having it in the first place!
2. The ‘Why’
Once you know what it is you want, you have to ask yourself why you want it. The why is the most important part because if you are clear on this, you will draw most of your motivation from it. It’s not the actual ‘thing’ itself that motivates you, it’s the feelings that the thing will bring you.
Focus on how that lifestyle will make you feel. Focus on those feelings of accomplishment and joy that you would get from your achievements. Think about all of the freedom to do the things you enjoy you would have from having that little extra cash.
Think about the confidence and self esteem you would develop through seeing yourself positively change your life. The principle works for any goal, whether it’s about your physical health and fitness, your financial wealth, having a satisfying career it doesn’t matter. The principle is sound across the board.
This principle is really powerful because it’s about how you feel and how you want to feel. As my mentor Dax Moy puts it, it makes you “own the goal”.
It’s your goal for your reasons. The result is what you want, not a result based on someone else’s ideas.
“If you have a strong enough WHY, you will overcome any HOW!”
3. The ‘How’
Ok so here’s the slightly trickier bit. How do you make it happen? Well first of all you need a game plan, but more importantly you need to take action on that plan. It’s the taking action that is the difficult part because it is going to require a lot of effort on your part and that will ultimately mean there will be changes. Although the long term plan is that these changes will be positive and the result you want, you may have to accept that there could be some short term disadvantages.
Obviously it will depend on what your goals are and what you are trying to achieve at the end of it. It may mean you have to take on a course to learn the skills to change your career. It could mean a pay cut in the short term and giving up a few of the luxuries that make life seem more tolerable.
It all comes back to your why and how much is your goal worth to you.
Are you prepared to suffer some short term pain to get the long term gain?
“The insane thing is doing the same thing you’ve always done and expect different results” – roger milliken
4. Reasons or results?
A hard concept for many people to grasp is the idea of taking responsibility. We are often content with the belief that “it wasn’t meant to be”, “or I wasn’t good enough” or one of millions of other reasons we hear day in day out.
But what is it that you want? Do you want a result, or a reason why you don’t have that result?
Our lives are a direct result of the choices that we have made in the past. That also means that our future will be a direct result of the choices we make now. If we choose to make the change and face the challenges it will bring, our life will become very different to how it will be if we decide to stay the same.
At the end of the day it’s your choice. Yes there will be barriers and yes at times it may be hard, but what is more important to you? The Reason, or the Result?
5. Dare to be different!
One of our biggest ‘fears’ in life is being judged by everyone else for being different. Being socially accepted has become a huge part of our society and we seem to have developed some bizarre beliefs that we have to behave in particular ways in order to gain acceptance.
Sometimes it’s good to be different, to separate yourself from the ‘flock’. Sometimes we have to put our ideas out there knowing that there are people willing to shoot them down because the ideal conflicts with theirs.
So what?
So what if someone doesn’t agree with you? What does it matter? Does that person’s opinion directly affect your result? Chances are they won’t.
And what you will find is that for every one person who challenges your beliefs, there will be another who loves your ideas. It’s these like minded people who share your beliefs that you want to be surrounded by, but if you never put your views out there you will never find them!
Don’t let your fear of other’s ideas stop you from pursuing your own, because you will never become successful if you don’t.
There’s a great old saying which I love…
“Only dead fish go with the flow!”
6. Forget the balancing act
If you ever want to get anywhere in life you have to knock the idea of balancing your work and home life on the head, because there is no such thing. If you try too hard to balance everything you’ll often get nothing done and get nowhere.
Think about a See-Saw that has a person on either end of equal weight and size… it won’t move!
It’ll be the same for you, you’ll remain static and never push forward.
You have to learn to prioritise. Work out what your priorities are on any given day or week (whether it is work, personal or family) and commit to making sure it gets done.
Obviously your priorities will change all the time, but if you can prioritise and learn to manage your time, you will become much more productive and push forward. Sometimes something will have to give. If you have a deadline for a project that is important to achieving your goals, then you have to accept the fact you may need to sacrifice some personal time to get it finished.
If your kid has a football match you promised to go to, then maybe work has to take the back seat.
Only you can decide what your priorities are, but once you make that decision each day get it done!
7. Make some ‘me’ time…
Finding time for yourself to do things that you want to enjoy or to develop your ability and education is essential. If you are constantly working your back-side off you will become tired and run down. You’ll lose motivation and give up, meaning all that work you put in was for nothing.
We all have needs and hobbies, so don’t neglect them. You only live once!
8. Live the dream!
Stop thinking about how great the dream ‘could’ be and start to live it. Even if it’s only in small things like changing your routine, doing some volunteer work, starting a new hobby, changing the way you look etc. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it fits in with your goal.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, you can’t always have everything in an instant, but if you start making those conscious changes to your life, you will be that one step closer to your goal and that lifestyle of your dreams.
The only way it is ever going to happen is if you start taking action and living it!
You only get to live once!
Let me know what your thoughts are and how you can apply these principles to your own success, I’d love to hear about it!
Laters!
Kyle