Should I cut off ties with my father? Please help? Important?

[AudreyZ]

My father has never had a job and even at 50 years old is still being supported by his own mother. He is quite sick in the head. I could not even begin to detail the extreme abuse and neglect suffered as a child.

(Being locked in a room and forgotten about for days while he binged on heroin and cocaine, having to spoon vomit out of his mouth when he would pass out or overdose...you get the picture)

He hasn't changed. My grandmother still supports him and he lives in a complete fantasy world, telling people that he is doing "undercover work" for the CIA. He tells grand stories and if you dare question him, he explodes with rage. He is also violent and paranoid.....constantly accusing everyone of plotting against him, etc etc. On one hand, I want to cut off all contact and on the other hand, if he is really mentally ill, isn't that like abandoning him for being sick?

Please help...I am so conflicted and want to make the right choice!


Thank you..
I feel that he should be in a psych ward where he can be taken care of and get help......I feel guilty that I cannot get him this help and am just giving up on him.

[harrumphicus]

There's no question, get him some help. He's sick. It's not his fault, but it will be on your conscience if you let it continue.

[summer]

well maybe not cut all ties but are you even that close. sounds like your older and since his mother is taking care of him you don't have to. I haven't talked to my dad in over 20 yrs but if you usually stay in touch with him, just call him every so often to see how he's doing

[SophosAndros]

Nah, I'd just leave him alone. You're grown right? He's going to be a constant reminder of all the pain he's caused you if you try to stick around. You know, people, parents included, have to live with the choices they make. When you abuse your loved ones, it's no surprise that you will not have any loved ones left. Really, we all try to live for our parents to an extent, but we have to realize that this is our life, and if they can't accept it, then get out of the way.