What's your best sexual joke?

There were two nuns
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL : The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

I'll pray for you!

(maybe not)

A woman complains to her preacher that her husband keeps falling asleep in church, and asks him what to do about it. After thinking for a minute he hands her a pin and tells her that whenever he looks at her when he is preaching, she should poke him with it.
Well, Sunday rolls around and the preacher is up front preaching. After a while he decides to see if the congregation is listening and asks a simple question, "Who created the world?" He looks at the woman and she pokes her husband with the pin.
He awakes with a start and exclaims, "God!"
"Right!" says the preacher.
A little while later he decides to test the audience again, "Who is God's son?" Again he looks at the woman and she pokes him again.
"Jesus!" he exclaims.
"Right again!" says the pastor, and continues preaching.
Later in the sermon the preacher decides to tell a joke, to liven things up a bit, "What did Eve say to Adam after their tenth child?" Forgetting what he told the woman, he accidentally looks at her and she pokes her husband with the pen.
He wakes up and yell, "If you poke me with that thing again, I'm gonna break it in half and shove it up your a**!"

if your left leg was christmas and your right leg was thanksgiving.. id visit you in between holidays

how do you circumcise a hillbilly?
you kick his sister in the chin!
or
what does a redneck girl says before having sex?
get offa me dady ur crushing my ciggies!

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips (two lips) on an organ.

What worst than getting rape, by Jack the rippers? Getting finger by Captain Hook! 2. What do you get when you cross a rooster, and a telephone pole? A 100 foot cock, that want to reach out, and touches someone. I heard your mouth is like a tea cups, it like everybody bags.What did the egg say to the hot boiling water? How can I get hard when I just got laid a minute ago.