now i think of it, fear is nothing, but self-creation
it seems like there should be one, but once you notice that it's worth not thinking about it, nothing really happens and the only thing that's been affecting your life was only your thougths

i have a problem with something that i did a few years ago, the fact that i might have blasphemied or taken lord's name in vain out loud using the f word, but i believe that i wouldn't have because i know myself, but then again, i lose this and i can't remember clearly of what happened a few years ago
i have a feeling that it only freaked me out and im still thinking about it because i said the f word out loud and i had a tendency to say jesus after in my mind
this is what happened, so im thinking that there's a chance that i might have said jesus out loud too, but i doubt it, but the fact that i said the f word out loud, increases the probability and fear of saying those things together
22 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
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22 minutes ago

i also think like this when im studying science and i make many connections and analogies and my great memory enables me to relate and connect my knowledge to try to define the truth of what happened in my life, which sometimes makes me guilty even though there's no reason to be
my friends understands concepts with my analogies when i help her with chemistry

is this all really worthless and is this same as the fear of anything like everything is fine, but the only problem that's going on is just the fact that im constantly creating a psychological problem for myself?
16 minutes ago

the thing that i sometimes do is making a mind map of categories of why i shouldn't be guilty and some categories have sections, which supports the ideas in the category, i have to think through this before i do something
what kind of mental crap do i have?