My future brother in law is jealous of my fiance and I?

AllyKat1

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Aug 15, 2008
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I just recently got engaged a few months ago and i am the happiest i have ever been, but with a few issues that we're having, one of them is my fiance's older brother. He is jealous of us. i treat my fiance like royalty, i take care of him when is sick, i cook for him, i wash his clothes i basically make him feel like a king. reason why i think he is jealous is because he just went through a broken engagement and i know he is jealous because he tries to get my fiance to leave me and whenever we talk about the wedding with the family, he cuts us off and starts talking about his own life or just rolls his eyes and acts like he is going to puke. My fiance has tried to talk to him about that he is even considering having him as the best man but he just tends to show off in front of everyone even his parents! When i tried to talk to him he says i'm delusional! i really don't want these negative vibes going on because we have enough with my mom and his dad not approving of our engagement because we are an interracial couple and we don't need anymore of that. this is suppose to be a happy time not sad. What can we do to stop his jealousy? it seems like he's embarrassed by the fact that his younger brother who is 7 years younger is getting married before him and that's why he is jealous. what can i do to end his jealous emotion and actions, please help!
 
The answer to the question, What can I(you) do? is:NOTHING!

It is not up to you. It is up to your fiance; this is his brother making you unhappy. He should take him somewhere private and speak to him forcefully about how he is disrespecting you and he will not tolerate it.End of story. He needs to stick up for you and your future family to this idiot!

AND, does he live with the family or something? Why is he privy to all the wedding information & conversations? He's just the brother! Don't talk about the wedding in front of him or to him anymore.

I think in the end it's your fiance's decision on whether or not he's in the wedding party or not, but you should make it clear to your fiance that you do not want this guy making your day miserable. If that means he doesn't participate or even come, then so be it.

If he is in the wedding party, I would recommend hiring at least a day-of coordinator to help you. She/he can be a great help in situations like this; it's been my experience that most people do not act out as much in front of a stranger who is in charge. Make sure to find a person who doesn't have a problem taking charge of the situation if it should arise. Make sure you tell her/him of the potential problems in detail, before the wedding.

Good luck to you!
 
Not up to you to fix him.

Hold your head high and be there for the one you love. Prove, don't say, that you are in this for the right reasons and other people can't influence you.

If you aren't complaining and telling tales on him to your fiance, then his brother's complaints will be obviously unjustified where if you push back your fiance will feel caught between 2 people both of whom he cares about and both of whom are being unreasonable about the other.

Just turn aside his eye-rolling or interruptions with pity and patience, not anger. He is mad and jealous, and probably wants to believe if HE couldn't get it right then NOBODY can and that falling in love is a sucker's game. Not your problem what he believes, you can't repair him and chasing after him for approval just makes you look desparate so walk away.
 
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