Is letting your baby scream a good idea?

Barbara

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Jun 2, 2008
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4 1/2 month old cries and cries for no reason he won`t take him bottle i try to walk him rock him nothing works should i let him cry himself to sleep???
help!!!!!!!!
 
i have 8 children and trust me sometimes you just have to try it just keep checking the baby and reassuring that you are there but don't do for long periods though as there may be medical reasons why the child does this talk to a gp first but it does't hurt the child just the guilt to the parent doing this method lol hope i helped
 
I feel your pain..my grandson is only 3 months, but does the same thing!!! I don't like it, but honestly...sometimes there just isn't anything left to do!!!!!
 
I let my daughter cry... It will not hurt her if one of her immediate needs are taken care of.

If she is not hungry, wet, or hurt... Then I take her to her crib, place her in there with her favorite blanket. I give her a big kiss and let her cry until she puts herself to sleep.

NOTE: I dont just walk away and close the door. I go into the room about every few minutes to reassure her that I am not leaving her. It helps to soothe her. She has to understand that I will be there ONLY if she needs me.
 
A 4 1/2 month old will not usually cry for no reason. It may be stomach ache, ear ache, or something you can't see. I suggest laying down the baby and letting him cry for a few minutes while you gather yourself. Take a few deep breaths. Call someone close if you can to help talk it out or get it off your chest. It will be okay and won't last forever. Only when you've recollected yourself, go in and pick him up, try to burp him (even if he hasn't ate) putting his belly directly on your shoulder. If he calms down when you do this then it's a belly ache. If not then try stroking his head, singing softly to him. He will wear himself out. If this keeps happening, though, you may want to see the doctor about it as he may have an ear infection or colic.

Add: I am in favor of CIO but a baby isn't ready for CIO (crying it out) until they are about 7 to 9 months. 4 1/2 months is waaaay too early.
 
Personally i wouldn't let him cry longer than a couple of minutes. research "controlled crying" method. it may help.
I recommend trying a bath.
Avoid rocking, driving in the car etc to get baby to sleep as they will learn to depend on it to get to sleep.
A bath is good as it can calm them but they stay awake.
get in there too, this may help calm them by having you hold him. Move gently and use calm voice, soothing voice.
Also write a diary. record everything from, feeding, what you are feeding, sleep time, the way you settled him, etc etc. u may find a common reason for the crying. it may happening at a particular time a day, or could be half hour after a feed etc. if he is on formula, it may be the formula he is on. could be reflux etc, keeping a diary may unearth something and also record what works too to refer to later on.
Also a tip, try feed play sleep method. try to avoid feeding him before bed. feed after he wakes up.
also look for tired signs, he may be overtired. when a baby is overtired they just cant relax and get worked up.
my motto for me was first sign = bed. my son would rub his eyes or first yawn etc and that was it. off to bed.
i hope i helped.

IM me if you need more help or advice
 
well.. what you should do is that you dont want it to blow a lung. so you comfort it. find somthing it likes. if he finds somthing he likes make sure he has it everywhere
 
Firstly I would take him for a check at the doctors - if he says there is nthing wrong with him. Then try wrapping him really tight in a fleece blanket - hold him really close to your heart so that he can hear it and try and relax. A baby can pick up when you are feeling stressed. So just put on some relaxing music and chill out with him.

If that doesnt work - he might be collicky - stick the washing machine on and sit him next to it - it relaxes a collicky baby for some reason.

At 4 and a half months its a bit early to be leaving him crying. I used to let my daughter cry but she was 6 + months.
 
My four kids all did this when they where this age. I warmed a bottle of milk up and put them in their carseat and went riding around for about 10 to 20 minute's with some soft music on or fix them a warm bath with johnson's restless baby bath and then straight to the crib and put some soft music on in the room and leave, after a few minutes or so goes by, your baby will finely give up. Know it could be gas, lay you baby flat down and rub lotion on him/her and then took both of your hands and hold your babies leg's straight out and then push the leg's straight to the belly and push upward's, this will take severly time's before the gas realeases but it does work. It sounds as if your baby as callick(not for sure how you spell it), take your baby to the doctor and tell the doc what your baby does, could be allergic to the milk that you have her on. My four babies was and it made them all gases but it will change in few month's. Hang in there, it will be stressful but it is worth it, if you have to put some head phone's on so the cring will not stress you out but your baby cring will not hurt, they cry and the louder the cry, they are strenching their lung's out for healthier lung's, crying and hearing her scream will not hurt her, sooner or later she will stop, if she doesn't then she has gas on her tummy bad. Buying some baby gas relief will also help her.
 
Sometimes it is best for everyone if after you take care of all the baby needs, you lay him down in his crib for a time to try to cry to sleep. Try for 15 minutes and see what happens.
 
Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that he is crying for no reason. Lots of little babies like that can have gas pains, and they don't know how to help themselves (by farting!), so rubbing their tummy, pumping their legs gently, or giving them gas drops can help. Have you taken him to the doctor to see if there is a problem? Could he have an ear infection? Or is this something that happens daily at around the same time of day? Lots of babies have a fussy period, especially in the late afternoon/ early evening. I think they just get stressed out. If this is a common occurance and you're totally positive that there is nothing wrong with him, its okay to let him cry himself to sleep. Every ten minutes or so, if he isn't sleeping, go in the room and just reassure him that you're there, but don't pick him up or anything. He'll eventually fall asleep and get out of the habit of crying. I think kids sleep better when they've put themselves to sleep anyways. I'd check out the possiblities of gas or an ear infection though!
 
take him to a doctor, u should let him cry to sleep when he's at least 6 monthes not now, there may be sth wrong, that may be why he crys
 
I never could let my baby cry. I didn't always immediately run to her, but I didn't let her cry it out either. My baby needed comfort, it was my job to give it to her. Babies don't cry for NO reason. If the obvious are taken care of, food, clothing, diapering, burping are taken care of, then the baby is feeling some other type of discomfort.
The few times my baby was colic, I would lay on my back and lay her tummy down on my tummy with her head on my breasts and hold her thighs and gently tug them to get her in a rocking motion on my body. A few minutes of that and she'd quiet down and drift off to sleep. I guess the warmth of my body, the sound of my heart beat and the swaying motion eased her. I always figured it was as close to the feeling of the womb that I could get her.
And my daughter never became dependent on the rocking.
 
I know that it hurts to sit there and listen to your baby cry his head off, but it is needed at times. You can't go running to him every time he whimpers. He soon learns that the minute he starts crying he gets attention. And so the cycle begins....

Go to the doctor and get him a clean bill of health. It could be caused by something that is not visable to the eye. But unless he is sick or truly needs something it is ok to let him cry. Consider it good exercise for his lungs :]

Good luck and enjoy being a mommy!
 
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