One more poem, please comment and leave feedback?

[wisenhiemer@sbcglobalenet]

Needles

Needles slicing without a sound
Sewing death
and hate abound

Soft silks left in the air
Leave behind
Void and despair

Strewn about, left behind
Sardonic silk
For the innocent to find

Beware, do not feel
For if you do
Its your fate you seal

Chained to a fate of turmoil and death
You'll keep sewing
Untill your dying breath

Just like the fruit of old
When you taste
Your soul is sold

In the East. the needles fly
Ignorant of
Our desperate cry

To fill up that void of despair
The East will bring
More warfare


In my opinion, not my best poem as it is a metaphor not so easy to understand as the rest of my poems. I like easy to understand xD

Please comment, and read some of my other stuff and comment on those! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmG0Va67IHlKMZL.5Br9XJtp.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid =20080703110442AAkZNO0

In response to other questions, writing is my hobby as i have no idea how to get something published. im also only 15 yo.

[AngelaP]

It's just ok!!!

[soccer_girl6248]

i like it! To get something published last year my teacher told us about contests where you could get your poem published into a book or magazine you could look it up on google maybe or ask your teacher.

[AngelaP]

It's just ok!!!