OMG! Boy have I ever felt like I had walked in your shoes. I always felt like no one could ever love or want me. Listen, you are young. 18 is supposed to be a fun age. Since you are in college, have you thought about breaking down the perverbial "I have aspergers wall"? Does the college you attend have any of those fraternities that you can join? They aren't like they used to be, alot safer. Aspergers is not an excuse to be a reckloose. My son was diagnosed when he was 5. We always knew he was different, very smart and gifted, but had a rough time making friends. He is 13 now and with help, he is one very high functioning popular kid. He has more friends on face book then I do, lol. Relax kiddo, love will find its way to you when you least expect it to. As far as drugs are concerned, did you ever think they could hurt your progression with the Aspergers? They are poison. The feeling only lasts for so long and then it goes away. There is no guarantee you will "get some" just because you tripped. And if you do, is that the kind of relationship you really want? You could end up with some nasty hoes STD. Then where will you be? Looking for antibiotics instead of LSD or pot. You dont need that stuff to make a name for yourself. You just be you, do your thing in college and the rest will follow. I will have you know that I was divorced after 3 years of marriage, that was in 2001, and I am 35 now and just stumbled upon my soul mate. Give yourself time, I did.