How do we stop arguing so much?

[CO120391]

For the past couple days my fiance hasnt been very pleasant with me. Yelling and cussing occasionally when we talk over small things. Today i spoke with her on the phone and asked what time she was going to pickup my daughter. (not her bio child) anyways. She said she was going to go home first to let let our puppy out of the cage, at this time it was 7pm. I simply saidisn'tt ava more important than a dog? and she flipped started yelling and cussing saying that iquestionn her as a parent and that i talk down on her...I politely asked her to stop yelling and she just kept on and kept on then she hung up....i called back tried to defuse the situation by trying to calm her down...she hung up again. I explained to her yesterday how the way she was talking/treating to me lately was not ok in anyway. She apologized and then here we are today in the same situation.What do i do?...i tried to give in and be the one to fix the problem but it isn't working....2 hours later and shehasn'tt tried to contact me at work...andy advice?

[frillyfroofroo]

Cancel the engagement and wedding. Stay single until Ava is grown or go back to her Mom and help raise her.

Joy to you!

[wornoutMom]

Okay so you already have huge communication problems and you aren't even married. This is a Huge red flag right in your face. After people get married problems usually get worse not better. If she's already playing these kind of games I would count yourself lucky and get out while you still can. Oh and make up with her first to get your ring back... Good Luck

[PoopsieMellish]

As a step mom, I will side with you. Your daughter needs good role models in life and to put a dog before her is not only rude, but scary to that poor little girl! I would rethink this relationship because your daughter should be first over a mean girlfriend! I have 2 adult step daughters and if they were stranded, I would go crazy to make sure they are safe. Why can't your girlfriend put the dog in the car and take a walk together with the dog and have fun? I love my step daughters and have a son of my own. i don't play favorites. You make sure your daughter is picked up so the poor little one is feeling sad or worse wanders on her own! I want to slap your girlfriend and you need to kick her to the curb for child abuse!

[okeysg2]

By not participating. If you see that tempers are beginning to flare, just simply walk away. It takes two to argue.

EDIT: On a different note, get out of that relationship now. Your partner is uncompromising and unyielding.

[BeefyCheeks]

Talk when you both are calm. Communicate by using "I feel"... for example, "I feel that when ask you what time you will pick up my daughter you become defensive and this starts getting me defensive"< -- also ask yourself, why this isn't agreed upon before hand, instead of last minute. Perhaps a way to diffuse this problem is deciding in the morning what time who is picking up who and the argument won't start.

Arguments happen because a problem in communication, perhaps one doesn't feel they can open up with how they are feeling without being defensive. If that is the case with her, and you want to make the effort, then calmly ask her at night when you are lying in bed how she feels, ask her how her day was, what she is thinking about, and tell her how much you love her... make the effort earn her trust and allow her to open her heart and talk to you about her feelings.. perhaps she just needs to know you will listen to her and want to know what she is feeling. Give her your ear, and I"m sure she will give you her heart.