Am I OVERSTEPPING my boundaries?

T

<~tPrincesst~>

New member
Mar 26, 2008
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I am 25 and he is 27. We have known each other for 5 years, and have recently started sleeping together. I go over his house atleast 3-4 times out the week, we cook, we go out, we cuddle. But he's already told me, he's not sure what he's 'looking' for. I know that I WANT a relationship as in a exclusive couplehood to come of this, but I also LISTEN to what a man says. He has a 7 month old with an ex who he no longer wants a relationship with, yet when he visits the child---they always have sex. She lives 7 hours away. Anywho---the other day, I had to stop by his neighborhood to view some homes and asked was he going to be there and he said 'no' But that his cousin and a girl were in his house. So, when I get to his neighborhood---his cousins car isn't there, but I see another chick car (had sorority plates) near his driveway. I asked him flatout---in a non-demanding way, was the chick at his house his guest or his cousins guest---and he GOT so offended and refuses to answer me?Thanks guys. I just sent him a text telling him to "f*ck off!" And that I can do better. Thanks for OPENING my eyes!
 
No your not, but you are putting yourself through unecessary stress, this person is not going to give you anything that you are looking for, and you should move on, to find someone that will. gl
 
Please don't settle for this guy that doesn't care about you. You have every right to question someone if you want. He has every right not to answer. You know he has a 7 month old. You know he is having sex with her and you are okay with it because you are still with him. He will never stop. You are a doormat. Stop making excuses for him or yourself. Respect yourself and get out.25 is so young. You have plenty of time to find a bf that will treat you with respect. Do you really want someone with that kind of baggage?
 
Face it. This isn't the relationship you are looking for. He knows what he is looking for, and he found it. A steady piece, and still being able to have the occasional strange piece too. If you are OK with him sleeping with his baby's mother (and you must be, cuz you know about it and stick around), then if he is sleeping with some sorority chick, that should be OK too. It's not an exclusive relationship and if that is what you want, you need to move on.I think you have a right to know who else he is sleeping with, but apparently he doesn't think you need to know, and that should scare the hell out of you. Who knows what disease he could bring you....
 
Sounds like he may be sleeping around... not really wanting a relationship right now. But not wanting to lose you too. He might think you were checking up on him and got upset... especially if it was another girl. Besides, if you are wanting a relationship with him, that's not a good way to start it out anyway. Act like you don't care and that will get him worse.. Jealousey has never shown to do any good in any relationship, infact.. showing the opposite emotion actually makes it more of a challenge, more interesting, and if he thinks you don't care, then he still has to woo you.. Men hate to feel rejection, but it makes them try harder. Don't be mean, just act like you could care less.
 
Yeah I hate to say it but you were out of bounds. I know w/ matters of the heart things are not so clear cut, but the man made his intentions known that he ONLY wants something casual w/ you. The guy has a 7 month old for Gods sake, you can't expect him to give up his freedom so soon. You may have to lay back and let this one play itself out.
 
honey...you are waaaaaay too young to be going through this. if you want a relationship you need to find someone else.he obviously doesnt want an exclusive relationship right now. he is not the only fish inthe sea, dont waste your time & efforts on something thats never going to happen.
 
I would suggest buying running shoes and run away from this guy. You have known him for 5 years. He's having sex with you, he's having sex with his ex and he's probably having sex with this new girl. He's got it made, having sex with 3 different women and not having the responsibility of a relationship. He's lied to you about this other girl. He doesn't consider your feeling about having a committed relationship with him. You're basically a friend with fringe benefits...dump him and move on, you deserve better.
 
He's not interested in a committed relationship, he's got more than you..........and he doesn't want that to change.
 
at 27yr old men want to "play the field" ;so time to end this now or you will get more hurt. he said he doesn't want an "exclusive" relationship with you by not answering your question. you have doubts about how he feels about you when you need to see what he is doing. Leave this "boy" now- he wants "his cake and more". you want an "exclusive" relationship, time to get him out of your life. He is playing the field. you can't change his mind about that. he can see whomever he wants.
 
Sounds like he's playing the field, I would break away and do your own thing. This way you will not get hurt. Not that you over stepped your boundaries, but you allowed yourself to get set up to be hurt. Like he said he does not know what he wants. I would start spending less time with him and stop sleeping with him. This way you will give him the indication that you don't want to be just a fling, you want to be exclusive.I would still be his fried but at the same time keep your distance. Date another guy? Maybe this might get him thinking? Don't lower your standard. If you lower your standards then he will not respect you for YOU. I know it's hard but you are worth more than just being his fling on the side. Good Luck Wise up and if he loves you he will follow. If he does not, you have your answer.
 
Hi CC,If you made your intentions know, I don't think you overstepped your boundaries. That is different from overplaying your hand thought. You know that your guy sleeps with his baby's mama. You suspect he is sleeping with somebody else. Yet, you want to be the only one and in your heart you will always know that you will either never be the only one or always looking over your shoulder for when he is going to cheat on you. Why are you so desperate for this guy that you will lessen your value? Understand that if you dump him he will then fight hard to get you back. When he does "win" he will go back to his old ways. The hand writing is on the wall on this one kiddo. You are always going to play second fiddle. My advise is to get out while you can.
 
He's using you. Drop him like he's hot. He is a player.You don't want to STD. You don't know who she has slept with and your sleeping with anyone else he is having sex with.You don't deserve this and seems to me your recognizing it. Make the move. You Can Do It!Some people love to brag on how many people they can sleep with and it's stupid. Will they brag when they go to the doctor and find out they have some for of STD? Nope.
 
This guy is using every girl he comes across. Let him go and stay away from him he is BAD news!! You deserve way more than he can ever give you. It might be hard at first but don't let that stand in your way of finding a real man. Sex is not everything and lots of guys and girls just have sex with other people because they feel they can. It's not fair to you. Pick up and find a good guy.
 
you are demanding accountability from someone who has already told you that they do not want a commitment. either you have chosen to be unhappy or are really decieving yourself. sex with his ex is cheating. if he is so bold as to heat on you before u have a commitment what will it be like after you have the ring on your finger? how can u value yourself so little that a man tells u he is not sure what he is looking for and u still sleep with him? you are 25, am assuming u are intelligent. stop LISTENING to what a man says and LOOK at what he is doing
 
sounds like you need to rethink this relationship, what put yourself through all of this...move on
 
SEE YAAA BUH BYE!! forget about him!! hes def lying... when i guy gets pissed when you ask a simple ? then he doesnt want to ansqwer bcuz he no's he wrong!!! Find urself a worthy REAL man
 
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