Does anyone have any funny sarcastic/smartass quotes? And I mean really funny. Like one that actually will make you laugh out loud. I'm thinking of like the kind of humor from the movie Juno.
"If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and the impersonators would be dead!""When a man falls overboard, you say MAN OVERBOARD! When a woman falls overboard you scream: FULL SPEED AHEAD!""Statistics show married men live longer than unmarried men, but married men are more willing to die.""Three words women long to hear is, "I'll clean up!"''Dogs have masters, cats have staff!"
Smartass quotes my favorite one to say is when people tell me what to do I say "don't tell me what to do your not my real dad" also when people say your a smartass you say "my daddy said i could be anything I wanted to be so I became a smartass" one that pisses people off is when people tell you things that you could have went your whole life with out hearing you can say "did you see that.....the care and concern in my eyes" or "I think you mistaken me for some one who give a fuck" or "I don't give 2 shits or a fuck"