ill try to condense this but its pretty long. Theres this guyy i use 2 date that was the best person ever to me. no guy had ever treated me with so much kindness and respect as him. But the problem was that for 8 years ive been in love with my childhood bestfreind, because of that we broke up but we still remain the closest of friends. Well recently me and the "love of my life" went back out again (for the 235873420985713 time) but this time he did something that broke us for good. he left me in the middle of a party for some girl he had just met. I never thought that something could effect a person so much but it has. i feel a little...cold hearted you might say. i trust no one. Well my "good ex" has been there for me through thick and thin and i have grown to love him, the problem is he loves me 2 and wants to marry me. but there are many things that stand in the way 1.) the "cold" feelings i have due to my ex & 2,) him and i want completly different things in life. I dont want to loose him as a friend but i know my presence torments him. I was talking to him 2day and he asked me why i wont be with him and i explained why and he told me it was hurting him what i said. then he started complaining about chest pains and he started having an anxiety attack. I dont wanna loose him but im being selfish. What do i do?!?!?!?!